Forbidden: An Older Man Younger Woman Romance

I didn’t know how to feel about that.

I didn’t know how to feel about any of this. Which probably meant Noah didn’t know how to feel either. And somehow that bothered me even more. It didn’t make sense, but none of it did, so I didn’t know why I would expect anything else.

“Hey,” I said to Derek as I walked into the courtyard pretending I didn’t just wait out his brother leaving. “Holly didn’t answer, but I left her a voicemail. We’ll talk tonight, and I’ll go over everything with her.”

“Great. Thanks,” he said.

“So, what’s on the schedule for the next couple of days?”

“You are taking the weekend off,” he said.

I was surprised. The thought of having any time off hadn’t even crossed my mind since starting at the vineyard. There was so much to get done, I didn’t think it was an option to breathe more than absolutely necessary much less not come to work.

“What do you mean?” I asked. “Is everything okay?”

He looked at me strangely. “Everything’s fine. You’ve just been working way too hard. I don’t want you burning yourself out before we even open. Take the weekend off and relax a bit. It’s not like the work is going to be getting any easier from here on out.”

I wanted to argue with him, but at the same time, the thought of having a couple of days away from the vineyard actually sounded good. If I wasn’t at the vineyard, it meant I wasn’t going to run into Noah. Right then, that was very appealing.

When I got home that evening, I was even gladder to have the entire weekend off ahead of me. After the incident in the wine room and trying not to give it away to Derek, I needed it. That whole thing had been a mess. I went in there to yell at Noah, not to have sex with him. And to top it all off, we hadn’t used protection.

That definitely wasn’t like me. I was one to be cautious and safe. If I ever thought there was even the slightest chance of intimacy with a man, I made sure I took the initiative and had condoms with me. I could never understand the women who left it always up to the guy or talked about getting so wrapped up in the moment they didn’t even take the time to use the proper precautions.

And now I felt like I had a big old foot in my mouth. Here I was, not only having just had sex with a man I didn’t even like much less have any sort of relationship with, but having done it with no preparation, no condom, nothing. I was so stupid.

I was lucky I was on birth control. It was still a mistake, and not one I could afford to make again. I didn’t even understand how or why it happened. Sure, Noah was a good-looking guy. More than good-looking. And by all accounts, he was good at what he did and a strong, reliable man—to everybody but me. That was where the problem came in. Sexy or not, he was defiant, aggravating, and more or less an epic pain in my ass.

So, what had that been all about?

I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening essentially killing time. It would be another day until I could talk to Holly and try to get my head on straight.

That night, I couldn’t sleep. My mind was going a thousand miles an hour, and I couldn’t get myself to just calm down. I had too many questions and too much confusion. A couple of fitful hours of pseudo-rest resulted in an exhausted morning, and I came up with things to do to fill my time before my evening call with my best friend.

I did some cleaning around my little apartment and threw in a load of laundry even though it wasn’t the day I usually did it. I loved my place. It was cute and small, perfect for me. I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it and snapped it up without bothering to look at anything else. I figured it was the closest thing to love at first sight I would ever experience.

Lust at first sight might be another situation.

Cleaning and laundry didn’t take up enough time, so I ended up having a video chat with my parents. I did my best to talk to them at least every couple of days, if not every day. They told me how much they were already missing me and asked when I was coming back to spend more time. But studded into the loved-up conversation were particularly not-subtle inquiries about my new position and if I still thought it was the right choice.

I deftly avoided getting into much detail about what was going on at the vineyard. They didn’t need to know all the nitty-gritty details about the problems with the structures or the wiring issues that needed to be fixed. It would just make them even more worried.