Fated Hearts (Southern Bride 8)

“Where does Lucy play into all of this?” I asked.

Saryn drew her head back in surprise. “Lucy?”

I nodded. “Yes, do you know her well?”

She opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again and cleared her throat. “Well, you see, Roger hasn’t been a choir boy, Annalise. He’s been with a number of women. Lucy and Roger met a few years ago. They’ve had a few…”

“Hook-ups?” I added for her.

Her eyes met mine. “Yes. But trust me, there isn’t anything there. At least not on Roger’s side. He’s been open and honest with Lucy that he was only in it for…well…um…”

“Sex.”

“Yes,” she said in relief. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to hurt you by saying that. I don’t think they’ve been together in well over a year.”

“I know about his past. Roger is a very handsome man, and he never claimed to be an innocent. But I thought…he made it seem like…”

She took my hand in hers. “He made it seem like what?”

The back of my eyes stung with unshed tears. I had to focus on my breathing because I knew the moment I opened my mouth, sobs would come out instead of tears.

Saryn pulled me into her arms and hugged me. “Oh, sweetheart, he really broke your heart, didn’t he?”

I lost the battle, and a sob slipped free, along with those stupid tears.

Wiping them away, I drew back and sniffed, staring down at my empty hands. “I’d kill for a tissue right now.”

“Use the back of your hand. No judging here.”

I let out a half-sob, half-laugh as I did just that, then tried to carefully wipe away the tears from my face. I’d look like a clown by the time I went back into the ballroom if I didn’t get myself under control.

With a deep, shaky breath, I went on. “He made it seem like he wanted something more with me. And I really thought things were going that way. Then one day he brought me to his house. And he acted so strangely. We played pool and made this stupid bet and things got a little…you know. Instead of taking me to his bedroom, he brought me to the spare room. The sex that time was different. I thought in a good way…but it was the way he acted afterward that changed everything.”

“What do you mean?” she asked with a hard look on her face. “Did he hurt you?”

I quickly replied, “No! No, he would never hurt me. He grew distant. Very distant. He walked out of the room and pretty much locked himself up in his own room, leaving me alone. I had never felt so used in my life. That’s the only word I can think of to describe it. We argued, and I asked him who he was thinking of, and….” My voice trailed off. “Oh, God. Was he thinking of Kerri?”

Saryn quickly shook her head. “No. No, Annalise, I don’t think that was it.”

“What else could it be? How in the hell am I supposed to compete with a woman who’s gone? Who is clearly always going to own his heart?”

“I don’t think that’s it. I think it’s something deeper for Roger. It doesn’t have anything to do with Kerri. At least, not all of it.”

I met her gaze. “I think he meant to push me away that day.”

Saryn and I both turned and stared out at the darkening night sky. My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and different emotions. Maybe the best thing I could do was forget about Roger, or at least resign myself to only having a friendship with him. I still cared about him and wanted him in my life. Could it be only as friends? I wasn’t sure.

“I wish I knew what to tell you, Annalise. But I’m not in Roger’s head. What if you talk to him?”

I sniffled and wiped my nose with the back of my hand again. Ugh. I was heading straight to the ladies’ room to wash my hands and freshen up my face.

“If he’s gone this long holding her memory in his heart like this, then I seriously don’t think me talking to him will change anything.”

“I’m telling you, Annalise, I don’t think it’s because he’s still in love with Kerri. He cares about you, more than I think even he knows. I know he does. Truitt said Roger has been miserable the last two weeks. He stopped by to see the kids the other day, and when they weren’t occupying his time, he simply sat there and stared out at the countryside. Please, please just talk to him. There’s a reason you were brought into his life.”

I quickly stood, drawing in a breath as I straightened. “You weren’t there, Saryn. He wouldn’t let me look…” I let my voice trail off before I cleared my throat and kept talking. “I’m not going to try to compete with a woman who isn’t even alive.” I looked away, attempting to regain my composure. “I deserve more than that. I deserve a man who wants me and who can give me all of him, not only a small part.”