Forsaken (The Protectors 4)

I glanced up to see Mace watching me thoughtfully. “Barretti as in Barretti Security Group?”

I nodded. “You know them?”

Mace shook his head. “I know of them. I work for their competition,” he said. “Though I guess you can’t really call us that. Your uncles are the global leaders in security. With all those army contracts, there’s just no catching up to them at this point…”

I dropped my eyes at Mace’s words as my stomach rolled violently. I sucked in a deep breath and said, “Yeah, they’re doing really well.” I looked up to see him watching me intently. “So, um, you said Jonas is a teacher?”

Mace pinned me with his gaze for several long seconds before saying, “He’s an artist. He teaches art classes to underprivileged kids.”

“And Cole?”

“Cole’s doing some consulting work for the Navy along with his father.”

The dogs lying on the floor at our feet suddenly jumped up and ran for the front door. Several long seconds later, a dark haired man entered the kitchen. “Did I hear my name?”

The beautiful smile that spread across Mace’s face actually made my heart hurt and I felt tears sting my eyes when I watched him stand and embrace Cole and then kiss him softly. “Hey,” he whispered.

“Hey yourself,” Cole said back and then kissed him again.

I’d managed to get a hold of myself when Mace turned his attention back to me and began making the introductions, but inside I felt like my entire world was imploding and for the first time since I’d gotten on the plane, I wondered if I’d made a terrible mistake.

Chapter Nineteen

Mav

I knew what I was doing was wrong and beyond cruel, but I did it anyway. And not just because I couldn’t sleep or because it felt like the few bites of dinner I’d forced down my throat felt like they were going to come back up any second. No, it wasn’t any of those things that had me turning the doorknob as quietly as I could in the darkened hallway.

It was because I couldn’t fucking breathe.

And it had felt that way from the moment I’d seen my mother’s cold, lifeless body lying on a slab of metal with nothing to preserve her dignity but a flimsy blue sheet that looked more like a piece of plastic than anything else. The only thing that had kept me from slamming my fist through the thin piece of glass that had separated me from her had been the long fingers wrapped around mine. I’d been able to suck in enough oxygen from that point on to keep me alive, but I was coming apart inside and I knew there was only one thing that could possibly stop it.

One person, rather.

My expectation was that I would find Eli sound asleep and I hoped that I could just look at him and feel a few moments of peace – enough to hold me over for the next few hours until I could do it again in the morning when we made our way back to the airport. That was how I’d managed to get through dinner with Mace and his men. Because I’d had Eli sitting next to me and I’d gotten to listen to him make polite conversation with Jonas, Mace and Cole. The dinner had definitely been a quiet affair and no one had tried to draw me into the discussions revolving around Jonas’s work with the kids he taught or how the threesome was adjusting to living in a big city like New York. I hadn’t seen Eli up until that point – not after I’d told Mace we wouldn’t be sharing a room and had disappeared into mine like the coward I was. But how the hell was I supposed to explain that if I spent even a few seconds alone with Eli, I’d give in to my need to touch him? To beg him to hold on to me and never let go, no matter what I said or did.

I’d ventured out of my room long enough to hear Mace and Eli talking and while it had been interesting to learn that Mace and his men were still adjusting to building a life together, my main focus had been on the things Eli had said, specifically his references to not being a part of the Barretti family. I’d wanted more than anything to march into the kitchen and demand he explain why he felt that way when everything I’d seen in the few minutes I’d seen Dom and Eli interacting told me different. But I’d stayed in my hidden spot by the stairs on the other side of the wall and hadn’t moved until Cole had come home. I’d joined them for dinner when Mace had asked me, but I hadn’t lingered afterwards and within a few minutes of closing my own door, I’d heard the door across the hall close too. Six hours of feeling like my lungs were going to shrivel up and die inside of my body had me sneaking across the hall to get my fix.