Vengeance (The Protectors 5)

“How old was he?” I asked, surprised to learn how rough Brennan had had it as child. It was something I never would have guessed considering how confident and put together he was.

“Twelve, I think when he lost his dad and Cody. His mom started dating some guy when he was fourteen and Hannah was four. I guess the guy drank a lot too. His mom died a few months later in a car crash. There was no other family and the guy she was dating told the State he’d take care of Hannah, but not Brennan.”

“Why just Hannah?” I asked even as my instincts gave me the answer.

Tristan cast me a dark look and I knew my gut had been right. “What happened?” I asked.

“Brennan took Hannah and ran before the guy could touch her. His mom had talked about this great lawyer who once freed an innocent man from death row so Brennan tracked him down.”

“His brother,” I said.

Tristan nodded. “Although he didn’t know Zane was his brother at the time. He went there to hire Zane to help him protect Hannah.” Tristan slowed and then stopped. “It’s in his nature to be that way – to take care of people. That’s all he’s doing with me.”

“Tristan-”

“He’s out of my league, Memphis. And even if he weren’t, I’d have nothing to offer him,” Tristan murmured. “Besides, he’s seeing someone and I can tell that this guy, he makes him happy.”

The words I’d been about to say at Tristan’s self-deprecating remark got stuck in my throat. And before I could even figure out how to recover, Tristan stopped and said, “You mind if we head back? I’m kind of tired.”

“Sure,” I murmured, hating that I was the reason for the dejected look in his eyes. And not only because I’d brought up the whole topic of Tristan’s feelings for Brennan.

By the time we reached the house, I could tell Tristan was struggling with both his emotions and his physical strength. I led him to the guestroom and got the lights turned on for him as he worked his shoes off and climbed into bed.

“Is this okay?” I asked as I motioned to the light on the nightstand.

“Yeah. Thanks,” he said with a nod and I felt my stomach knot when he turned his back on me.

I should have just left him alone. But like with Brennan, my need to fix what was bothering Tristan took over and I sat down on the edge of the bed. “Tristan, look at me,” I said softly and I was pleased when he rolled over onto his back. I couldn’t resist the urge to brush his hair off his forehead, but when I went to draw back my hand, Tristan captured my wrist and held onto me so that my hand was pressed against the side of his neck.

Fuck, it would be so easy to draw him up and take his lips.

And that’s what I did – well, the drawing up part. Because as badly as I wanted to taste him, I couldn’t betray the other young man who’d managed to twist me into knots just like Tristan had.

So what the hell was I doing?

Tristan remained silent, his eyes holding onto mine and I could see he wanted the same thing I did. “No one’s out of your league, Tristan,” I murmured as I let my thumb rest on his pulse. It was beating rapidly and just seemed to increase the longer I held my finger there. “Any guy would be lucky to…”

My words dropped off as I saw the hope flare in Tristan’s gaze and when his eyes fell to my mouth, my already half-hard cock filled and I tightened my hold on his neck.

I had no idea how long we sat there for, but when an image of Brennan flashed in my brain, I forced myself to release Tristan and said, “Get some rest. We’ll head up to Seattle this afternoon.”

I kept my eyes off him as I quickly turned and left the room, pulling the door closed behind me. Tink meowed at my feet and then pawed at the door and I quietly opened it and watched her disappear inside.

At least the young man would have someone to keep him company because it couldn’t be me.

No matter how badly I wanted it to be.

* * *

The drive to Seattle had been torture. There was just no other way to describe it.

My need for Tristan continued to mount the more time I spent in his company, but my feelings for Brennan hadn’t changed. I couldn’t make sense of how badly I wanted both men, especially considering how different they were. Brennan was outgoing, said what he thought and took what he wanted, at least with me. Tristan was quiet and reserved yet something about him just drew me in. And it wasn’t just his vulnerability and innocence that I wanted to nurture and protect…being in his presence was comforting at the same time that it made me restless. But it was also like he saw things in me…things I worked hard to hide. And whereas Brennan seemed reluctant to cross a certain line with me when it came to personal things, Tristan had butted up right against that line on more than one occasion now. During the ride to Seattle, he’d peppered me with questions about my childhood, things I liked and my work. I, of course, had skirted the issue of work, but I’d found myself telling him things I’d been reluctant to tell Brennan when he’d asked me similar questions.