Atonement (The Protectors 6)

Dante’s voice dropped off as he closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, they were awash in shame and humiliation. “There was this guy I had plans to meet…he owned the place.”

It wasn’t lost on me what Dante was talking about, nor was the fact that he’d been only sixteen when his brother had been abducted and if whatever guy he’d been meeting had owned the arcade, it meant he’d likely been considerably older than Dante.

“I bought Aleks some tokens and told him to go play some of the games until I was done. He thought…he thought I was talking to the guy about a job.”

I nodded in understanding, but remained silent.

“I made Aleks promise not to leave the arcade. But when the guy and I were done, I couldn’t find Aleks anywhere. Some kids said they saw him leave the arcade and head towards the toy store. I went to look for him, but I couldn’t find him anywhere…”

Dante’s voice broke. “I didn’t call the police right away because I didn’t want to get into trouble. Maybe if I had-”

I shook my head. “It wouldn’t have made a difference,” I said gently. “They would have had a car waiting. By the time the cops would have gotten enough officers there to lock the mall down, they would have already been long gone.”

“I sold out my brother for a quick fuck, Magnus,” Dante whispered, his voice horrified as if it was the first time he was realizing what had happened.

I reached out and gently pulled him forward until his head was pressed against my chest. “You couldn’t have known, Dante. Even in your wildest dreams, you couldn’t have anticipated what would happen.”

Dante’s arms were hanging limply by his sides, but they slowly came up to wrap around me. I ignored the chill as his wet clothes soaked through my T-shirt and sweats.

“He used to call me Meu melhor...”

“What does it mean?” I asked softly as I pressed my lips against the top of his head.

“My Best,” he responded.

“Best what?”

“That was the game,” Dante murmured. “One day when he was six or seven, he told me I was his best and I asked him his best what. He just shook his head at me so I started guessing words. Brother, friend…then I started making silly guesses just to make him laugh. When I was done, he said ‘Tudo.’” Dante’s fingers dug into my back as he whispered, “Everything.”

My Best Everything…

“We’d play the game every time I picked him up from somewhere…or dropped him off. Bedtime, in the morning…it didn’t matter. I just did it to make him laugh and he did it…”

Dante’s voice dropped off. I slid my hand up and down his icy back as I quietly asked, “Why did he do it?”

“To remind me I was perfect just the way I was, even when others told me I wasn’t.”

I knew there was more to that part of the story, but I let it go. “Smart little boy,” I said softly.

Dante nodded and pulled free of my embrace. He wiped at his eyes with his hands. He could have been trying to get rid of some of the rainwater that was dripping down from his hair, but I highly doubted it. He stood stock still after that, clearly waiting for me to rain judgement down on him for what had happened to his brother.

“Tell me what you need from me, Dante,” I murmured as I reached out to run my fingers along his jawline. “Nothing’s changed for me. Nothing you’ve told me changes how I feel about you…I doubt there’s anything you could tell me that could change that.”

“I don’t do relationships for a reason, Magnus,” Dante muttered as he glanced out the window. The rain was still coming down in sheets, but I knew it wouldn’t deter him from leaving if that was what he still wanted.

“I don’t want to just be another warm body to you,” I admitted, hating the vulnerability that skated through me. “This being with another guy thing may be new for me, but you’re not some experiment.”

“Then what are we supposed to do?” he asked, his voice not as worn down anymore. The fact that he wasn’t outright dismissing what was between us had hope unfurling deep inside of me.

“For starters, you could stay,” I said softly. “And we’ll go from there.”

The silence loomed between us for so long that I was sure he wasn’t going to agree. But when he finally nodded, I wanted to do a victory dance.

“I’ll go tell the cab driver…”

“I can do it,” I offered. Dante stiffened when I grabbed his wrist as he turned to go and I immediately released him.

“Magnus, I can’t do this if you don’t trust me.”

I debated how to answer and then settled for the truth since it had gotten me this far. “I do trust you, Dante. But you need to understand that I’m not going to walk on eggshells around you. I offered to send the cab away because you’re wet and cold and I really just want to get you warmed up as soon as possible. I know you can take care of yourself, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop putting your needs above my own.”