Atonement (The Protectors 6)

Fury tore through me, but I managed to keep quiet.

“I liked it,” Dante said softly. “She smelled really good and everything about her was so soft. And Fernando made me feel…safe, I guess. They both took turns kissing me and then Ana was undoing my pants. I told her she shouldn’t, but then her mouth was on me and Fernando was kissing me again. I came so fast and so hard…I was so embarrassed and confused that I started to cry. But then they started telling me how much they loved me and that I was their special boy. I let them take me to their room, but all they did was put me between them on the bed and we slept. I’d never felt that…wanted before. They took me home the next day and said they hoped I’d come back the following Saturday.”

Dante shifted so that he was lying flat on his back and almost perpendicular to me, his head still resting on my chest. He once again searched out my fingers and began playing with them. I recognized it as a way for him to ease his anxiety.

“It was a couple of weeks before they had sex with me. I liked fucking Ana, but it hurt when Fernando…” Dante’s voice dropped off for a moment before he said, “I got used to it after a while…sometimes I even liked it. They became the only good thing in my life besides Aleks. I was sure I was in love with both of them and I couldn’t wait until I was old enough to leave home and live with them. They kept giving me money every weekend, even though I wasn’t actually doing any work around their house. But they said it was important to keep up the pretense since not everyone would understand how much we all loved each other and that we were going to be a family one day.”

“They told you that you would all be together someday?” I asked quietly.

Dante nodded. “Pretty stupid, huh?”

“No, baby,” I murmured. “It’s not stupid at all.”

“I was with them for nearly a year when things started to change. They’d tell me they had plans to visit family one weekend or that they were going on vacation the next. Pretty soon I was only seeing them once a month, if that. I had no idea anything was wrong…I believed everything they told me and they kept telling me they loved me...”

“What happened?” I asked when Dante went quiet.

“I went over to their house late one Friday night to bring Ana a present I’d gotten for her birthday. It was a locket. I’d saved up for weeks to buy it and I put a picture of Fernando on one side and me on the other. I knew where they kept their spare key, so I let myself in. The house was dark so I figured they were out for the night so I was just going to leave it on the counter so she’d see it when she got home. Then I heard them. I’d been with them enough to know what they were doing.”

Dante let out an ugly laugh. “I decided to surprise them…I started taking off my clothes as I went to their bedroom. They were definitely surprised when they saw me.”

“They weren’t alone, were they?” I asked.

Dante shook his head. “The boy between them couldn’t have been more than twelve. I know now how fucked up it was, but at the time I actually blamed him. Like he’d stolen them from me.”

“What happened after that?” I asked as I swallowed down the bile that had been creeping up my throat.

“Fernando took me outside and told me they still loved me, but that Paulo – I think that was his name – was their special boy now. He gave me some money and told me to go home. I begged him to give me another chance. Even after he closed the door in my face, I pounded on it for at least an hour screaming both their names. The police eventually showed up and took me home. They told my parents that Fernando and Ana had called the cops to tell them I was harassing them after they’d told me I no longer worked for them. My stepfather was pissed…asked me how I could fuck up such an easy job that paid so much money.”

Dante chuckled. “Fucker had no idea how many times I’d given up my ass for that cash.”

“Did you ever tell anyone what they did to you?”

He shook his head. “I know now that what happened was messed up, but at the time I saw it as a real relationship, you know? It was the first time I’d ever been in love. Ever had sex. I tried finding the same thing with someone else…one person, a couple – I didn’t care. But I learned pretty quickly that no one wanted me for love. Everything changed when I topped for the first time. Suddenly I’d found something I was good at and felt fucking amazing. It didn’t matter who I was with – they could be older, rich, powerful, beautiful – none of that made any difference when they were begging me to get them off. If my stepfather called me worthless, I’d go out and find a guy or girl and prove to them I wasn’t. If he told me I’d never amount to anything, I’d find a really successful guy and put him on his knees and make him beg for what he wanted.”