Redemption (The Protectors 8)

I bit back the curse I wanted to let loose.

“It’s too early to tell if any part of the tattoo will still be visible once the tissue begins healing, but in all likelihood, most of it will be gone or damaged to the point that you won’t be able to tell what it was.” The doctor paused to check his tablet. “I’ve contacted someone from Psych Services to do a consult with Levi since this is technically a case of self-harming, but after having spoken to Levi myself, I suspect the psychiatrist will reach the same conclusion. Levi isn’t a danger to himself or others. He knew what he was doing and while his actions were not advisable under any circumstances, I don’t believe he did it to actually hurt himself.”

I nodded in agreement. There was only one reason Levi had done what he’d done.

And I was a big part of that reason.

“So, if the psychiatrist clears him…”

“He can go home tonight,” the doctor confirmed. “We’re going to send him home with some mild pain meds as well as some antibiotics. He’ll need to follow up with his doctor over the next several weeks to monitor the injury for infection, but otherwise it’s just going to be a long, painful process of letting his body heal itself.”

“Can I see him?” I asked.

“I had to ask him that myself because he seemed pretty convinced you wouldn’t even be out here when I came to look for you.”

I shook my head in disbelief. I wanted to both strangle Levi and kiss the shit out of him. “You can tell him I’m not going anywhere,” I said firmly.

“You can tell him yourself,” he said. “It could take Psych a while to get someone down here so why don’t you sit with him until then? They’ll probably ask you to step out while they’re talking to him.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” I said as I held out my hand. He shook it and then motioned towards the double doors. I followed him past several curtained-off rooms. My stomach tightened uncomfortably when I spied Levi sitting upright on a bed, the back raised to support his upper body. His heavily bandaged wrist was resting in his lap.

As soon as I reached his side, Levi said, “I’m sorry Ph-”

“Shut up,” I whispered just before I bent down and sealed my mouth over his.

Chapter 13

Levi

“Will you tell me about your family?”

I really didn’t have the right to ask the question, especially since I was the one who owed Phoenix answers, but I wasn’t ready to talk yet. If I had my way, I’d never have to tell him about me, my fucked-up family or the hated tattoo I was finally free of.

After I’d been discharged the previous night, I’d asked Phoenix to take me home since Betty had practically ordered me not to come into work for at least three days unless it was to stop by so she could hug the dickens out of me. Yes, she’d actually used the word dickens. I’d smiled when she’d said that to me, then I’d hung up the phone and cried. The very sweet nurse who’d been inserting the needle for my IV had wiped my face with tissues and told me everything would be okay.

I hadn’t bothered to tell her that nothing would ever be okay again.

Because I’d figured something out while I’d been sitting in that hospital bed waiting for the doctor.

I’d been wrong when I’d told Phoenix that God had given up on me a long time ago. He hadn’t given up…He’d just been biding His time. I’d never considered my time in prison or any of the events that had followed as acceptable punishment for what I’d done to the Nichols family seven years ago. My suffering had been a drop in the ocean compared to what Seth Nichols and his parents had gone through. As the years had passed, I’d kept waiting for that moment when God would pass His judgment on me, because contrary to what Father O had told me, I didn’t believe my sins could be forgiven. But as hard as things had been over the years, there hadn’t been that one moment where I’d felt like God had finally picked me out of the crowd and said, “Okay, it’s your turn.”

Turned out, Father O had been right about one thing. God was always watching.

And he’d finally found something that would hurt me more than a life spent behind bars or any beating or assault that T, Gun or even Ricky could have sent my way.

He’d given me someone to love.

Two someones.

I’d never understood what I’d done to deserve having Henry in my life, but I got it now. God had given me that beautiful little boy so I would know what it felt like to love someone else so much that nothing else mattered.