Shattered (The Protectors 11)

“You need to rest,” I said. “Please,” I added. “I want you to be at your sharpest tomorrow so you can keep us both safe.”

He looked at me for a long time, then nodded. He took my hand and followed me to the bed. I worked his jacket and shoes off. My intent had been to leave it at that and urge him into bed, but when he captured my mouth in a bone-melting kiss, all thoughts of rest went out the window.

He kissed me over and over as his fingers began tearing at my clothes. I knew exactly what he was doing and I felt my insides drop out. He needed me, but it was the one thing I just couldn’t give him. No matter how badly I wanted to, I just wasn’t ready yet.

“Jace—”

“I know,” Jace said with a nod. “You’re not ready. I need… I need you to fuck me, Caleb. If you’re not ready for that either—”

I kissed him to silence him. I wasn’t ready for him to be inside of me, but I was more than ready to know him in that way. And to be able to give him something besides just pleasure, to give him the escape he needed, meant everything to me.

“I need to feel good,” Jace continued, his voice cracking. “I need to not think about what’s coming.”

His voice broke and I clasped his face. “I’ll take care of you, Jace. Now, tomorrow, always. You’ll never be alone again, do you hear me?”

He choked back a sob and nodded. “Love you.”

“Love you,” I whispered back, then I kissed him and began tugging at his clothes and mine.

He ended up on top of me on the bed, but I welcomed his weight. It was the first time we’d both been naked at the same time and feeling his hot skin against mine was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. I let my hands roam over his back and ass as he kissed me. We began grinding against one another and I could feel one, or both, of us leaking. It was a sure sign that if we weren’t careful, we’d end up coming before we’d even gotten a real taste of one another.

I managed to roll Jace onto his back. I took his hands and placed them above his head. I kissed him deeply, then said, “Leave them there.”

Jace pulled in a breath and nodded.

“Just feel, Jace.”

He sighed, then closed his eyes. I took my time exploring his body, but bypassed his dick. My confidence grew as Jace began to respond to my every touch. By the time I finally did close my hand around Jace’s cock, he was fisting the bedsheets and a fine sheen of sweat had broken out all over his body. His dick was thick and hard in my hand. A shimmer of anxiety went through me as the past threatened to intrude on the moment, but when I looked up at Jace, I saw that his eyes were on me.

“Caleb, you don’t have to,” he said softly.

Pure, unadulterated love for this man poured from every part of my soul. Despite him being the one who needed comfort, he was still so very aware of me. It changed how I viewed what I was about to do.

It was no longer about me performing an act that was a means to an end. It was about bringing the man who saw me – who knew me better than I knew myself – a little bit of what he’d given me. It was a sex act, but it wasn’t about sex.

It would be like that when he made love to me for the first time, too. I wouldn’t forget that when the time came.

I held his gaze for a moment, then shimmied down his body as I gave his dick a few more tugs. He never stopped looking at me.

Not as I nuzzled his cock.

Licked it.

Sucked on the head.

There were times that I would draw my eyes away from him long enough to pay attention to what I was doing, but every time I looked at him, he was watching me.

With hunger.

Need.

Awe.

Love.

But as much as I loved seeing all those emotions, I really wanted him to experience the freedom that came with not having to do anything but feel. So I took Jace to the back of my throat and sucked hard. He let out a hoarse shout and then I felt his fingers in my hair. But he didn’t try to hold me on his dick and he didn’t punch his hips up so he could fuck my mouth.

Something I was grateful for, since I really wanted to be the one to control his pleasure.

I sucked him until he was calling my name, then popped off his cock and made my way up his body. I covered his mouth with mine. He groaned and kissed me back and I knew he could taste himself on my tongue.