Locked In Silence (Pelican Bay 1)

I’d been certain I was going lose Nolan to his exhaustion once Jerry had knocked him into the water trough, so I’d made a plan then and there not to let him leave in that condition.

Though I wasn’t sure why, since that was exactly what I wanted.

At least, it was what I should want.

Especially now, as I saw the same determination in Nolan’s eyes as he stood his ground in front of me.

Bigger men than Nolan had backed down when I’d confronted them, but despite the fear I could feel wafting off Nolan’s body, he didn’t move.

Not to get away.

Not to continue with what he’d been about to do.

And he didn’t speak.

I didn’t like that.

Nolan Grainger had a lot to say, and I was finding that I liked listening to him. So for him to be watching me with gentle resolve but not back it up with words was unnerving in a way. It would be easy enough just to force him back a few steps, but I didn’t want to do that.

So we were at an impasse.

One that I knew I’d have to get us past.

It killed me to do it, but I carefully released Nolan’s wrists.

And didn’t move beyond that.

Nolan took in a slight breath and then dropped his eyes to the bandana. His fingers were warm against my skin as he let them trace the edge of the fabric. In truth, I hated the damn thing. The damage to my throat already made the muscles in my neck feel tight, and the bandana just added to that. I only took it out of the pocket of my coveralls and made use of it when someone came to the center.

Nolan’s fingers only lingered on my skin for a few seconds before his hands moved to the back of my neck where the knot was. The move had him stepping closer to me and I could smell soap, shampoo, and man. It would be so easy just to lift my hands and pull him all the way in. He’d fit my body so perfectly.

Nolan struggled with the knot and I knew it would just be easier for me to reach up and undo it myself, but I was reluctant to do so.

And not because I didn’t want him to see my neck. I’d already accepted he would.

No, I didn’t want to help him because then there wouldn’t have been a reason to step closer to him and lean my head down so that my nose was practically buried against his neck. Mere inches separated our bodies as Nolan fiddled with the bandana. When it finally came loose, we both hung there a moment in the quiet of the kitchen before Nolan gently unlooped the bandana from around my neck.

Just before he pulled it completely away from my skin, he softly said, “It doesn’t bother me, okay?”

I managed a slight nod. I wanted to believe him, but then why had he been staring at my neck like he had?

I forced myself to straighten. Nolan stepped back and put the bandana on the island. His eyes went to my neck briefly, but didn’t linger. “Can I help?” he asked as he motioned to the stove.

I shook my head.

He nodded and returned to the island and sat down. My eyes locked on his mouth as it wrapped around the opening of the beer bottle.

Fuck, I was so far gone around this man already…

I forced myself to turn around and finish getting dinner done. I caught my hand straying to my neck several times, but every time I looked at Nolan, he wasn’t staring, so I began to relax. The buzz of the washing machine had me stepping away from the stove, but Nolan put his hand up.

“I’ll get it,” he said.

I pointed to a door around the corner from the kitchen. Nolan returned within a couple of minutes and resumed the conversation we’d gotten sidetracked from. “I forgot to ask you his name yesterday,” Nolan said as he petted Loki’s head.

I went to the pad of paper and wrote down Loki’s name.

“Loki,” Nolan said with a smile. “Good name. I know everyone thinks Thor is hot, but Loki is way hotter.”

As soon as the words left Nolan’s lips, he slapped a hand over his mouth and his skin went an adorable shade of pink. I was about to smile at his embarrassment when a look of horror passed over his features and he practically fell off the stool in his haste to stand.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to say that!”

He looked down at Loki as if he was somehow expecting the animal to help him. “God, okay, yeah, I’m…shit,” he stammered before he lifted his eyes. “You might have already figured it out in high school but maybe you didn’t, I don’t know, but I’m…I’m gay,” he blurted. “Maybe I should have told you when you offered me the job, because even though it would make you the biggest dick in the world for not hiring me because I’m gay, I guess that would be your choice-”