Devoured by Doms (Doms of Destiny, Colorado 4)
He’d never heard Cam so frustrated before. “Okay. I’ll listen.” Looking down at her was killing him. He wanted her with all his heart. “Erica, what do you want to tell me?”
“Please, can we sit on the bed?” she asked sweetly.
He could feel her shaking against his body. “Of course.”
“Please listen and don’t stop me. I want to tell you everything.”
He could feel her agony in the very fiber of his being. Pain was something he understood. “Erica, I’ll do whatever you ask.”
“It happened after my parents died…”
* * * *
Erica leaned into Dylan, exhausted from telling him the dark truth of her rape. Cam sat on the other side of her on the bed. This was where she belonged. With them. Even if she was damaged or not, they
were her life now. She wasn’t going to give up on them. She wasn’t giving up on herself either.
Dylan brushed the hair out of her face. She looked into her own reflection on the lenses of his shades. How did he see her after hearing about her past?
“Say something, Dylan,” she said.
“I’m so sorry you went through all of this. If I had known, I would’ve killed the motherfucker.”
“No one knew. Just me and Mr. Boyd.” She closed her eyes. “I don’t think I’ll really ever get over it. The asshole died before I could confront him. It feels unfinished to me.”
“God, you are so strong, Erica Coleman.” Dylan took off his sunglasses and tossed them to the side. “Much stronger than me. That’s why I’m not good enough for you, baby.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
“No. It isn’t. I’ve done things that you can’t even imagine.”
“What things?” she asked, sensing ancient pain begin to bubble up inside him.
She knew it would be hard for him, as it had been for her, but forcing the demons out and into the light was the only way to begin to heal. She’d learned that tonight. Dylan needed to learn that, too. Then they could have a chance at happiness.
Dylan took in a deep breath, continuing to stroke her hair. “I can tell you some things. No names, dates, or locations. That’s classified.”
“I don’t need to know any of that. What I need to know is what caused you to think you’re not good enough for me.”
“I want to know, too.” Cam’s tone was of a concerned and loving brother.
“I was an assassin for the CIA.” His eyes narrowed, but his gaze never left her. He was clearly waiting for a reaction from her.
Yes, she was a little shocked but not completely. “Dylan, I know whatever you did was for our country.”
“That’s what I always told myself.” He sighed. “Most missions made sense to me. They were cut and dry. The targets were terrorists. Four years ago I was on a mission to take out a powerful financer of Al-Qaeda operatives. Everything was going as planned. He was in a hotel. The intel had stated he was alone. But he wasn’t.” Dylan’s voice was steady, but it was obvious to her his words were slicing into his soul. His dark past had left him damaged, like her. “I came in through an open window. He was in bed asleep. As I shot him, his wife came out from the bathroom. She screamed. I turned, ready to exit back through where I’d come, but the woman was grabbing for a gun that was on the dresser. My training kicked in. I shot her.”
“That was self-defense, Dylan. It couldn’t be helped. You did what you had to do.”
“That’s what everyone at the Agency kept telling me during the debriefing. But it wasn’t just the man’s wife that witnessed my crime. Their four-year-old daughter, whom the woman had been bathing, ran into the room with a towel around her waist. She screamed as her mother dropped to the floor.” Dylan closed his eyes. “I had to leave her, that innocent child. I ruined her life.” He took in a deep breath and opened his eyes. “So you see, honey. I’m no good for anyone, especially you.”
Erica’s heart broke in two for Dylan. She didn’t have any words to help him. All she could do was hold him and pray his demons would go away.
Chapter Thirteen
Cam put his arm around Erica, who was holding on to his brother with both hands.
“This won’t work,” Dylan said. “I’m not the man for you. Cam is.”