Home Again
After that, the night took on a magical, larger-than-life quality. The sky looked bigger and darker, a velvet drapery beaded with stars. Fallen leaves lay scattered across the road up to the school, catching on the girls’ high-heeled shoes and sticking to their shimmering hose.
They all went, talking and laughing, into the gymnasium. Lina was the only girl in the crowd who hadn’t volunteered on the decorating committee, and when she saw what they’d done, she stopped dead. “God, it looks great.”
Gauze hung draped in rippling folds against the vanilla-bland walls. White butcher paper was taped to the basketball court floor, its surface littered with gold and silver glitter. A huge Christmas tree dominated the room, its branches full of white lights and tinfoil stars. In the corner, a winter-wonderland photographer’s backdrop memorialized each couple’s night. The band hammered out raucous music on an octagonal stage at one end of the gym.
Cara sidled up to her. “We could use some help on decorating for the spring Sadie Hawkins dance.”
Lina felt unsure of herself. “I-I don’t have much talent.”
Cara laughed, a high, clear sound like the tinkling of silver bells. “Can you use masking tape?”
Lina immediately felt like a fool. A hot blush spread up her cheeks and angry words popped onto her tongue. She bit them back when she realized that Cara wasn’t making fun of her—she was inviting Lina in. And Lina—idiot that she was—was standing there with her mouth hanging open. “I can use masking tape.”
Before Cara could respond, Zach took hold of Lina’s hand and dragged her onto the dance floor. A hackneyed version of a Hootie and the Blowfish song was pulsing from the huge speakers in the corner.
Lina couldn’t help laughing as he twirled her into the crowd and started dancing.
It was the beginning of the best night of her life.
Madelaine paced back and forth across the living room, picking up knickknacks and moving them from table to table, studying the manufacturer’s marks on her china candy dishes as if she’d never seen them before. Each and every Christmas decoration held her avid attention. For the fifteenth time in as many minutes, she looked at the mantel clock. The Christmas tree sparkled in the corner.
“Thirty minutes,” she said, more to herself than to Angel. “They should be dancing by now.”
Angel turned away from the window, where he’d been standing motionless and silent for the same thirty minutes. “Okay, enough is enough.”
Madelaine stopped and looked at him. “What do you mean?”
“She’s at the dance, she’s having a great time. She hasn’t been kidnapped by terrorists. I’m going to try and forget my negative fantasy—which is, by the way, that she gets in a car with that red-faced kid and keeps on going, stopping only long enough to get pregnant and rob a liquor store.”
Madelaine laughed, and it felt good to make light of it all. “You’re right. We have to relax.”
He whipped the living room curtains shut and turned around, giving her a smoldering smile. “Now I have you all to myself.”
She felt a shiver of anticipation. “So you do.”
“Good, let’s talk.”
She knew she looked ridiculously disappointed, but she couldn’t help it. “We’re alone for once, and you want to talk?”
He grabbed her hand and led her to the sofa. They sat down side by side, and he turned to her. “You said earlier that I was a never kind of guy.”
Her heart seemed to stall for a second, then pick up speed. She tried to make light of it. “Forget it, I didn’t mean—”
“What did you mean?”
There was no laughter in his eyes, just an intensity that stole her breath. She knew it mattered to him, what she said, and she didn’t know what was the right thing. She wanted to blurt out that she was afraid—afraid of so many things, loving him, not loving him, everything. “I meant that I know you, Angel. I understand the kind of man you are.” She gazed up at him, trying to smile. “I’m not sixteen anymore, and you can’t break my heart like you did before. We can just … be … this time. No promises, no guarantees. It’s enough for me.”
He looked at her sadly. “It’s not enough for me, Mad.”
“What do you mean?”
His gaze left her face, traveled around the room as if he were searching for something. After what seemed like hours, he took hold of her hand and held it to his chest. She felt the fluttering rhythm of his heart beneath the heavy cotton fabric of his coveralls. “I want so much for us, Mad. I want to be here for you, with you, forever. I want to bounce our children and our grandchildren on my knee. I want to go to bed with you every night and wake up with you every morning for the rest of my life … but I don’t know how long that will be.”
The words sank deep inside her, twisted around her heart and brought tears to her eyes. “No one ever knows those things, Angel.”
“I missed so much of Lina’s life…” He looked away again. “I wish I could have those years back. I threw them away so easily…. I’ll never do that again. I love you, Madelaine Hillyard. And I know I’ve said that before, but you’re just going to have to give me a second chance.”
It was all there in the words he was offering, in the look in his eyes, everything she’d ever wanted. The love, the family, the commitment—everything. She wanted him, beside her on this couch and in her bed for as long as forever could be.