The Things We Do for Love

The truth was she didnt belong anywhere.

LAUREN RETURNED TO CLASS AND WENT THROUGH THE motions of high school. She took notes and filled out her daily planner with upcoming assignments and talked to her classmates. Once or twice she even smiled, but inside, she felt cold. An unfamiliar anger was spreading through her blood.

David had promised to keep their secret. He knew-- they knew--it would get out sooner or later, of course, but not yet. She wasnt ready to face the questions and gossip.

By lunchtime, shed gone beyond anger. She was pissed. She ignored their friends and strode across campus to the weight room. He was there with his football buddies. Amid the clunking of weights and the huffing of exertion, they were talking and laughing.

When she stepped into the room, it fell silent.

Damn you, David.

She felt her cheeks heat up. "Hey," she said, trying to sound normal, as if she were just another high school girl instead of a ruined one.

David slowly sat up. The way he looked at her made it difficult to breathe. "Bye, guys. "

No one answered him.

In silence, she and David walked across the campus and out to the football field. It was a cold, crisp day, with a layer of frost glittering on the grass. The air smelled vaguely of apples.

"How could you do it?" she said at last. Her voice was surprisingly soft. Shed expected to scream the question at him, maybe hit him for emphasis, but now that she was here, she was icy cold and afraid.

He took her hand and led her to the bleachers. They sat down on the cold, hard seat. He didnt put his arm around her. Instead, he stared out at the grassy field and sighed.

"You promised," she said again, louder this time, her voice shrill. "And Coach Tripp. Everyone knows he has a big mouth. Didnt you think--"

"My dad wont talk to me anymore. "

Lauren frowned. "But . . . " She didnt know how to finish her sentence.

"He said Im a stupid idiot. No. A fucking idiot. Those were his exact words. " Davids breath floated out in pale clouds.

She lost her anger; just like that it was gone. Something inside her seemed to fold inward. She touched his thigh and leaned against him. For all the years shed known him, hed been trying to get his fathers attention. It was one of the things they had in common. A parent who didnt seem to love you enough.

The Speedster was Davids pride and joy not because it was the envy of other boys or because girls loved it. He cared about the car because his father loved it. What David cared about were the hours spent in the garage with his dad. There--and only there, it seemed--theyd talked.

"He wont even work on the car. He says theres no point in fixing up wheels for a kid whos going nowhere. " He finally looked at Lauren. "I needed to talk to someone. A guy. "

How could she not understand that? This was a time of almost unbearable loneliness. She slipped her hand in his. "Its okay. Im sorry I yelled at you. "

"Im sorry I told him. I thought hed keep quiet. "

"I know. " They fell silent again, each staring out at the field. Finally Lauren said, "At least we have each other. "

Softly, in a voice that held no confidence, he said, "Yeah. "

WHEN LAUREN GOT HOME, MRS. MAUK WAS WAITING for her on the front step. By the time Lauren saw her, it was too late to turn around.

"Lauren," she said, sighing heavily. "I went to see your mom at work today. "

"Oh? Did you catch her?"

"You know I didnt. Her boss said shed quit. Left town. "

Lauren sagged beneath the weight of those two words. "Yeah. Im going to get a full-time job. I promise--"

"I cant do it, kiddo," she said, and though Lauren could see she didnt like this news, she broke it anyway. "You cant afford this place by yourself. My boss is already tired of your moms late payments. He wants me to evict you guys. "

"Please, dont. "