The Things We Do for Love

"Call me sometime. "

She held on to a smile by force of will. "Sure, Conlan. Id love to run into you again. Bye. "

FIFTEEN

THE WORST PART ABOUT IT WAS THAT SHED ALMOST forgotten. At least, she believed she had, and in the end, that was pretty much the same thing.

"Denial" was Miras one-word answer to Angies long, drawn-out explanation of how shed handled her emotions after the divorce.

It was, she thought, as good an observation as any. In the months between May and November, shed allowed herself to think about several of her losses. Particularly her fathers death and the loss of her daughter and the subsequent realization that there would be no babies. In fact, she was proud of the way shed handled her grief. Every now and then it had shocked her, pulled her under its icy surface, but in each instance, shed swum free.

The divorce somehow had been pushed aside, a little thing in the presence of giants.

Now she saw the whole of it and she couldnt look away.

"Theres nothing wrong with denial," she said to Mira, who stood at the stainless steel counter, making pasta.

"Maybe not, but it can fill up and explode one day. Thats how people find themselves in McDonalds with a loaded handgun. "

"Are you suggesting theres a felony in my future?"

"Im pointing out that you can ignore your feelings for only so long. "

"And Ive reached the end of my time, huh?"

"Conlan was one of the good ones," Mira said gently.

Angie went to the window, stared out at the busy street. "I think was is the key word in that sentence. "

"Some women choose to go after men theyve accidentally let go. "

"You make Conlan sound like a dog that broke its leash and ran. Should I put reward posters around Volunteer Park?"

Mira came around the counter and stood beside Angie, put a hand on her shoulder. Together they stared out the window. In the silvery pane, backed by night, they became a pair of watery faces. "I remember when you met Conlan. "

"Enough," Angie said. She couldnt go down memory lane right now.

"Im just saying--"

"I know what youre saying. "

"Do you?"

"Of course. " She gave her sister a tender smile, hoping it wasnt as sad as it felt. "Some things end, Mira. "

"Love shouldnt be one of those things. "

Angie wished she could be that naive again, but innocence was one of the casualties of divorce. Maybe the first one. "I know," she answered, leaning against her sister. She didnt say what they both knew: that it happened every day.

LAUREN GOT OFF THE BUS ON SHOREWOOD STREET.

There it was in front of her: a bright, sprawling Safeway.

You know what makes a girl throw up for no reason, dont you?

She flipped the hood of her sweatshirt up and tried to lose herself in the soft, cottony folds. Looking down to avoid eye contact with anyone, she marched into the store, snagged a red basket, and headed straight for the "feminine needs" aisle.