On Mystic Lake

She sat quietly at the table, her eyes focused on her food, her right foot tapping nervously on the floor.

As soon as dinner was over, she bolted from the table and hustled Izzy up to bed, leaving Nick to wash and dry the dishes.

“Good night, Izzy,” she said, tucking the child into bed. “Your daddy will be up in a minute. ”

“ ’Night, Annie,” Izzy muttered, rolling onto her side.

Annie closed the bedroom door and headed downstairs. She found Nick in the living room, staring out at the lake. Even from this distance, she could see that his hands were shaking. There was a damp dishrag lying at his feet.

The last step creaked beneath her foot and she froze.

He spun toward her. His skin was pale in the lamplight, and sweat sheened his forehead.

“You want a drink,” she said.

“Want?” His laugh was low and rough. “That doesn’t even begin to cover it. ”

Annie didn’t know what to do. It was dangerous to touch him, but she couldn’t turn away. Cautiously, she moved toward him. He reached for her hand, his sweaty fingers coiling around hers with a desperate squeeze.

After a long minute, she said, “How ’bout a bowl of Chocolate Chip Mint instead?”

“Great. I’ll just go say good night to Izzy, then . . . I’ll meet you by the fire. ” He gave her a relieved smile before turning and bolting up the stairs.

Annie went to the kitchen and scooped out two bowls of ice cream. The whole time she told herself that it was nothing, just a bowl of ice cream between friends. By the time she was finished, Nick was back downstairs. Together, they sat on the sofa.

In silence, they ate. The tinny clang of spoons on porcelain seemed absurdly loud. She was sharply aware of everything about him, the uneven way he tapped his foot anxiously on the floor, the way he kept tucking a flyaway lock of hair behind his right ear.

All at once, he turned to her. “How long will you be here?”

So that was it. She sighed. “About another month and a half. Natalie gets home on the fifteenth of June. ”

His gaze caught hers, and she felt as if she were falling into his blue eyes.

Annie’s breath caught in her chest. She found herself waiting to hear what he would say next, though she couldn’t imagine what it would be.

“What do you think of Mystic?” he asked slowly, watching her. “You sure couldn’t wait to leave after high school. ”

“It wasn’t Mystic that sent me running. ”

It was a long minute before he answered softly, “I never meant to hurt you. ”

“I know. ”

“You scared me. ”

She felt it blossom again at his words, that delicate bud of intimacy that had drawn them together last night. It scared her, especially now when she was so close to him. She tried to brush it away with a laugh. “You’re kidding, right?”

He leaned forward and set the bowl down on the coffee table. Then, slowly, he turned toward her. One arm snaked down the back of the sofa toward her, and she had to fight the urge to lean back into it. “I think our lives are mapped out long before we know enough to ask the right questions. Mine was cast in stone the day my dad abandoned my mom. She had . . . trouble handling life. Before I even knew what was happening, I was her caretaker. I learned what every child of a drunk learns: don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t care. Hell, I was an adult before I was ten years old. I shopped, I cooked, I cleaned . . . wherever we lived. I loved her, so I took care of her, and when she turned on me or became violent, I believed what she said—that I was worthless and stupid and lucky she stayed with me. ” He leaned back into the sofa.

Annie felt his fingertips brush her shoulders. She gazed at him, remembering how handsome he had been, how when she’d looked at him for the first time, she hadn’t been able to breathe.

“Living here with Joe was like a dream for me. Clean sheets, clean clothes, lots to eat. I got to go to school every day and no one ever hit me. ” He smiled at her, and the heat of it sent shivers through her blood. “Then I met you and Kath. Remember?”

“At the A and W, after a football game. We invited you to sit with us. There was a K-Tel album playing in the background. ”

“You invited me. I couldn’t believe it when you did that . . . and then, when we all became friends, it stunned me. Everything about that year was a first. ” He smiled, but his smile was sad and tired around the edges and didn’t reach his eyes. “You were the first girl I ever kissed. Did you know that?”

Annie’s throat felt dangerously tight. “I cried. ”