Once in Every Life

That night after supper, Tess gathered the girls in a circle on the living room floor. A fire burned low in the fireplace, giving the shadowy room a red-gold glow. The leftover aroma of mutton stew mingled with the sharp tang of woodsmoke and filled the air. Moonlight slanted in a tenuous, broken streak through the small window and puddled in a bluish smear on the couch.

Tess spread a big blanket on the hardwood floor, then dropped slowly to her knees and patted places for the girls. As Katie and Savannah lowered themselves to the blanket, Tess laid out a precious piece of paper in front of each girl. A pen and inkwell followed.

Savannah looked up. "What do you want us to do with these?"

Tess gazed at her daughter, realizing for the first time how very young twelve could be. Savannah looked impossibly pale and naive in the uncertain light, a girl trying so hard to be a woman.

Tess's gaze moved to Katie. She was sitting Indian-

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style, all slumped over, with her little elbows rested on her bent knees. Her eyes were huge, earnest pools in the shadow-cloaked pudginess of her face. There was the barest hint of a tremble in her lower lip, the only sign that she was afraid for her daddy.

Love washed through Tess in a rejuvenating wave. These children had given her so much?more than she'd ever dreamed possible. They'd answered a million soundless, aching dreams. Where strangers had once been, there was now a family.

She didn't have to be strong for them; she had to be strong with them. From now on, they'd be facing a lifetime's worth of good times and bad. Miracles and tragedies. And they could battle them one at a time, each of them stronger for taking hold of the other.

She held her arms out. With a stifled sob, Katie lurched into Tess's arms and buried her little face against her mommy's shoulder. Savannah pushed the paper aside and crawled across the blanket, curling against Tess.

Their love and acceptance gave Tess the strength to take on the world. She stroked their backs in slow, gentle circles.

"Will he be back?" Savannah asked quietly.

Tess smiled. "That's my girl, Vannah. Always be direct. Ask what's on your mind."

"Will he?"

The scientist in Tess wanted to equivocate, to elaborate on the vagaries of the judicial system and the nature of Jack's fear. But that part of her was small now, and getting smaller. The mother in her had a simpler answer. "Yes, honey, he will, but I need your help."

Both girls drew back, studying her. "What can we do?" Savannah asked.

"See those pieces of paper? I want you each to write your daddy a letter. I'll take it to him tomorrow."

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Katie whimpered. "Oh, no, I?"

Tess touched her cheek. "I'll help you."

Katie let out her breath in a quiet, quavering sigh. "Wuh?will it help?"

"I think it will."

Katie nibbled nervously on her lower lip, then slowly nodded. "Okay."

Tess helped the girls swivel around and stretch out. Savannah lay sprawled, half on and half off the blanket, her legs crossed at the ankles in the air behind her. She chewed on the end of her pen for a long, thoughtful moment, then began to write.

Dear Daddy:

When I was a little girl, you used ta stand by my bed in the middle of the night. You 'd stand there, just lookin at me and cryin. I used ta wish so bad you 'd pick me up. Every time I saw you in them days, it was through the wooden bars of that bed. It seemed like bein in jail.

Then I grew up, and I learnt that a person don't need bars to be in jail. I always felt locked up and alone and afraid. But then everything changed. Mama started to laugh, and you taught me to dance.

That dancin was something. Sometimes I cry just thinkin about it. That was the night you first told me you loved me. After that, I never once felt like I was in jail.

Daddy I love you. Please come home.

S.