Once in Every Life

"Why, thank you," she said sweetly. "I will. Come on girls, let's unpack the food and spread the blanket out beneath the tree."

Tess plucked up Caleb's wicker basket and held him close to her chest. She sat at the edge of the seat, waiting patiently.

Then not so patiently.

Behind her, she could hear the sweet, high-pitched giggling of the girls as they struggled to smooth out the huge plaid blanket. Jack was up at Red's head, fiddling with some leather thingamajiggy. Tess was pretty sure it was a diversionary tactic. No doubt the leather thing was perfectly clean and adjusted correctly.

It was time to force his attention.

"Oh, Jack," she called out in her best I'm-a-southern-lady-in-distress trill, "I could use a hand."

"I'm busy," he muttered without looking up.

She cleared her throat. "The longer I sit in the wagon, the longer we'll be here."

He groaned?and Tess was fairly sure there was a curse buried in the sound. "Fine."

Tess smiled. "Fine."

He wrenched the reins around a smaller cedar tree and expertly tied a bulging knot. Then, smashing his hat lower on his forehead, he stalked across the knee-high grass to the wagon and shoved his hand up at her.

"You'll need both hands."

Eyeing her, he cautiously offered her his other hand.

Before he could say a word, Tess placed Caleb's basket in his outstretched hands. Jack glanced down at the bundle

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in his arms, then up at her. The color seeped slowly out of his cheeks; his mouth dropped open. "He's your son," she said softly. Fear darkened his eyes. Tess felt a sudden stab of empathy for this man who was trying so hard, so desperately, not to care. It was all she could do to keep from touching his face and murmuring his name. "Just ... just take him to the tree and set him down. I'll be right there." He swallowed hard. "I might drop him." "No you won't."

"Don't do this to me, Amarylis. Please ..." "Lissa," she said gently.

They stared at each other, neither speaking. Behind them, sounding at once far away and comfortingly close, the girls were giggling gaily. The carefree laughter melded with the soft sighing of the wind through the leaves.

He looked at her through eyes filled with unbearable pain and the hopelessness of a man who didn't? couldn't?believe in himself. His silent agony drove like a dagger through her heart.

Drawn irrevocably, undeniably, Tess scooted closer to the seat's edge. She leaned toward him. Closer. Closer ... Her tongue darted out, nervously wetting her lower lip. He leaned infinitesimally toward her.

Suddenly Tess realized where she was and what she was doing. She wanted to kiss him, wanted to be kissed and held and loved by him. Oh, God ...

Her heartbeat picked up speed, hammered in her chest and ears. "Jack, I..." She didn't know what to say, so her sentence trailed off, disappearing in the gentle, grass-scented breeze.

He took an unsteady step backward. "C-Can you get down by yourself?" Tess heard the husky emotion in his voice and knew

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he'd felt the same bone-jarring jolt of reaction she had. "Yes, go on."

He clutched Caleb's basket tightly to his chest and pivoted away from her, blazing a trail in the tall grass as he walked to the tree.

Tess watched him go. Gradually her heartbeat slowed down and her breathing normalized. She realize

d her hands were shaking. She'd almost done it, almost put her fear on hold and reached out for what she wanted.

Almost. But not quite.

Jack kneeled cautiously on the blanket and set the basket down. He tried to look away?really tried?but it was pointless and impossible. Against his will, he found himself drawn to the child in the basket. His son.