Beauty in the Ashes

“Do you see your friend?” She asked.

I searched the cars for Emery, but couldn’t find him. He was supposed to be taking me home since Daphne couldn’t.

“No,” I said. I hoped he didn’t take much longer to arrive. I was tired and I wanted to get in bed and sleep for the next ten years.

A few minutes past and Emery still hadn’t shown. I was about to ask the nurse to go inside and call him—I didn’t have a cell phone with me—when a car I didn’t recognize stopped in front of us. The driver hopped out, heading towards us.

“Memphis,” I gasped. “What are you doing here?” I asked as he stopped in front of me.

“Griff needed Emery’s help,” he shrugged. “So, he called me.”

Of course he did. I could hear Emery’s proud voice in my head saying ‘fate.’

“I take it this is your ride?” The nurse asked. I looked up at her to find her checking out Memphis.

“Yep.”

She wheeled me over to Memphis’ car and with their help I was secured in the passenger seat.

“Thanks,” Memphis said to the nurse.

I gave her a weak wave. She’d been nice, everyone had, but I wanted to get home.

Memphis turned the radio down.

Great. He wanted to talk. I really didn’t feel like talking anymore.

“You know, I was really shocked when Emery told me what you did.”

I rolled my eyes looking out the window at the scenery passing by. “Is that so?”

“Yeah,” he said, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I never realized you were depressed. This has made me see that sometimes you just don’t know people.”

“No, you don’t.” I replied in a short, clipped tone.

“I wish you had said something to someone.” He whispered and I could tell from his voice that he was hurt. “I would’ve helped you.”

“It was a rash decision.”

I wasn’t looking at him, but I knew he was undoubtedly rolling his eyes. “Suicide is not a rash decision.”

I whipped my head in his direction, letting my anger shine through. “You don’t know me. You don’t know what I’ve been through. Don’t judge me for trying to make the hurting stop.”

“Whoa,” he said, braking for a stoplight. “Calm down. I’m not.”

“It feels like you are,” I snapped. I was losing my voice at this point. If my doctor knew I was talking this much he’d bust a vein in his forehead. I rested my head against the window, letting my eyes drift closed. I was so, so tired.

“I care about you…more than I should, which has been pretty obvious. I thought I was your friend. I wish you could’ve trusted me with whatever hurt you so much that you thought you had to kill yourself to make it stop.”

I swallowed thickly. There was only one person I trusted and I didn’t have him anymore. He was gone. He was never really mine to begin with.

“My dad killed himself,” Memphis whispered.

Jesus, Christ! Did everyone in this fucking town have a dead relative?!

I didn’t say that out loud though. I let him talk.

“None of us knew he was depressed. I was fifteen and I couldn’t understand why someone would do that.” He let out a sigh. “But I’m older now and I do understand. The traumas of our past can seem like such a big deal. However, they’re really not. There’s always a tomorrow and with tomorrow comes the promise of a better day.”