Beauty in the Ashes

“We’re in a

storage unit,” I answered, “not exactly the best place to have sex.”

“Oh,” she replied, as if she was only now realizing where we were. “Right.” She lowered her legs from my waist and I stepped back so she was no longer caged between my arms. The moment was gone, for now, but it wouldn’t be long until I made her mine.

CHAPTER 35

Sutton

As I was packing boxes to move, I came across all the letters I’d written Caelan. I didn’t know what made me continue writing them after they were returned, but it made me feel better, even if he never read them. It had been three months since I wrote the last one—the day I found out I was going to have a daughter and Memphis and I declared our love for one another. I picked that one up now and started to read it.

Dear Caelan,

I have a lot to tell you since last time.

I guess I should start with the good news (it’s all good news, but this is the best news). We’re having a girl! Can you believe it? I sure can’t. Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real that I’m having a baby. Unlike most girls, I never imagined myself having kids or a family. You gave me this gift though, and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love her so much. Feeling her move inside me fills me with immense joy and pride. I often find myself wondering what she’ll look and be like. I hope she’s an artist like you. Wouldn’t that be nice? Regardless, I know she’s going to do great things.

The other thing I wanted to tell you is I’ve fallen in love. You told me not to wait for you and a part of me wanted to ignore your request, but my heart had other plans. I’ve fallen in love with an amazing man that’s loved me through it all. He knows everything, but doesn’t look at me differently for it. I have to thank you for that—for giving me the courage to open up to people and tell the truth. You were right. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I didn’t do anything wrong. I haven’t done it yet, but I’m thinking of starting a group for women and girls who have been raped to come and share their stories and talk to people who’ve been through it. I think I would’ve benefited from something like that, and knowing that I’m going to have a little girl…I don’t ever want her to be scared like I was. I want her to have the strength to talk about things and not bottle it up inside like I did. I’m trying to be a good role model for her. I hope you get to meet her someday.

Best,

Sutton

I folded the letter back up and put it away in the box with the others. Memphis kept telling me to contact Kyle and send them, but I wanted Caelan to live his life first. I didn’t want him to feel obligated to do anything for our daughter. He’d already thrown so much of his life away and I didn’t want her to become another burden to him. I knew in my gut I’d see him again one day, and when that day came, we’d have a lot to discuss and I hoped he wouldn’t be angry with me. It hadn’t been an easy decision not to tell him and I did it from a place a love.

I closed the flaps on the cardboard box and taped it shut.

Memphis had managed to convince me to move in with him. He could be highly persuasive when he wanted something. The baby wasn’t due for another month, but we’d already cleared out his guest room and were getting it ready. He’d painted the walls a soft pink—a color I’d been against, but he’d insisted the room be pink. The crib was put together, but in need of sheets. I’d gone a bit crazy buying clothes and she had enough to last her until middle school—well, you know, if she stayed baby-sized. The only thing I didn’t have figured out was a name. Memphis hadn’t asked me about it. I think he believed that was one thing he shouldn’t be a part of. I had a couple of ideas, but nothing felt right. I’d resolved to pick a name once she was here and I had a chance to see her and hold her.

I was startled from my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door.

I grumbled under my breath as I came to my feet. Memphis had gone to get more boxes and no doubt, his hands were so full that he couldn’t get to his keys. Why couldn’t men figure out how to put the stuff down, open the door, and pick it back up? It wasn’t rocket science.

I waddled my way to the door and swung it open, while speaking, “Why can’t you just put the stuff down and open the damn door?”

“It’s nice to see you too, Sutton.”

That voice did not belong to Memphis. Ice slithered down my spine and my hands shook. My throat closed up as I tried to close the door. He thrust his foot through the gap, effectively jamming it. “Tsk, tsk,” he snapped his tongue against the roof of his mouth, “that’s not very nice. Aren’t you going to invite me inside? It’s been far too long.” Peering past me, he smiled evilly. “And look at that, your keeper seems to have disappeared, and oh,” his eyes dropped to my stomach, “he left you a present.”

“Go away, Marcus!” I screamed through gritted teeth. “Leave me alone!” I looked around blindly for anything to throw at him. Unfortunately, almost everything was packed away.

He smiled and there was nothing nice about it. “Did you really think a measly restraining order would keep me away?” Shaking his head, he chuckled, “I got quite the laugh out of that when it arrived in the mail.” He pulled an envelope out of his back pocket and dropped it on the floor in front of my feet. “I would’ve come sooner, but I’ve been busy.” He looked around at all the boxes, and added, “Looks like I came just in time. It doesn’t matter though. You can’t hide from me, Sutton.” My back ran into a wall and he stopped in front of me. I swallowed thickly as my eyes darted from side to side, looking for a means of escape. There were none. He had me trapped against the wall. I was completely vulnerable and I had to think about my baby. I couldn’t do anything stupid. His hand closed around my throat, squeezing. “I will always find you.” His lips brushed against my cheek and he dipped his head towards my ear, taking the lobe between his teeth. “I own you.”

Tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes. I’d never been more afraid of him than I was right now, but I was more concerned for the well being of my daughter than I was for myself.

Black dots floated across my vision from lack of oxygen. He smiled as the light faded from my eyes. I fought against unconsciousness.

Fight back, Sutton! Fight! You’re stronger than this!

Somehow I found the strength within myself to head-butt him. He grunted and released his hold on me. I fell to the ground, gasping for air. I didn’t have the strength to stand so I started crawling.

“Help!” I tried to scream, hoping Cyrus, Frankie, or Daphne would hear me, except my voice was nothing but a weak croak. I pushed at boxes, sending them tumbling to the ground in a crash. It was the best I could do and I had to hope someone would come to investigate the cause of the disruption.

“You bitch!” Marcus yelled and I felt his hand close around my ankle. He pulled and I slid across the floor towards him. He flipped me onto my back and straddled me. His hands held my wrists in a vice-like grip as he pinned me down.

I struggled against him. I wasn’t going to make this easy for him. I tried to find the oxygen in my lungs to scream, but couldn’t. I lifted my head and opened my mouth, trying bite his arm. When my teeth hit flesh I bit as hard as I could.

He howled in pain. Releasing one of my wrists he slapped me across the face. He hit me so hard I tasted blood in my mouth and heard a ringing in my ears.