Rae of Sunshine (Light in the Dark 1)

“Is it really that obvious?” She paled, her hands fluttering over her body.

It was almost funny. Almost.

“No,” I said to put her out of her misery. It really wasn’t as obvious as I made it sound, but since I came from an upper-class family I could always pick out people who ran in the same circles.

“Oh good.” She visibly relaxed and we finished our meal in silence.

It had been twilight when we left our dorm but on the way back it was completely dark. Luckily, there were lights every few feet so you didn’t have to worry about monsters lurking in the shadows. I don’t know why I was worried. After all, all the monsters lived inside me now.

“I’m going to bed,” Thea announced when we stepped into our room, “it’s been a long day.”

I nodded in agreement. She grabbed some pajamas and went to change in the bathroom. We were lucky that our bathroom was only shared between the two of us. I wouldn’t have been pleased if we’d had to share with another dorm. I didn’t like people in my space and it was bad enough that I’d been stuck with a double.

I’d begged my parents to pull some strings to get me a single, but they refused. They told me I needed to stop locking myself away in suffering and make new friends. “Live your life, Rachael,” my mom told me before I left, her hands on my shoulders, “just because they’re dead doesn’t mean you are.”

But she was wrong. I was dead.

two

Thea and I had both been exhausted after moving in and went to bed early. When I woke up on Saturday morning it was still dark outside.

I couldn’t remember the last time I ever slept in. My body ran on very little sleep. Sometimes I thought it was a miracle I hadn’t fallen over dead yet. I knew that living, and suffering for what I’d done, was my punishment. It’s why I was still here. Living while my friends were dead.

I tried so hard not to remember anything from before, but it was impossible.

That day was always going to haunt me. There was no flushing it from my memory. I had to learn to live with it—to survive.

I scrubbed my hands over my face and let out a soft groan so I didn’t disturb Thea. The last thing I wanted to do was deal with her at this time of the morning. I needed some time to myself before she woke up.

I slipped out of bed and into my running clothes as quietly as possible.

Rachael didn’t run, but Rae did.

I found that when I ran I couldn’t think about anything else. My thoughts ceased to exist. When I ran I was free from my sins.

I opened the door and eased it closed so that she couldn’t hear the lock click. Hopefully she’d still be sleeping when I got back. Classes didn’t start until Monday, so it wasn’t like she’d have to get up early.

I moved through the building like a ghost and out the double doors.

I stopped on the steps and inhaled the crisp morning air. It was chilly, but I didn’t mind. Unfortunately, I knew that meant there wouldn’t be many mornings left where I could run outside. I’d have to use the school’s gym—I wouldn’t like it, but I refused to give up running.

After a few stretches I took off.

Immediately I felt that rush I always got—like I was in control. I hadn’t been in control of my life in a long time.

My feet thumped against the concrete sidewalk as I jogged around campus. I kept my pace steady, but a little on the fast side. When I first started running I used to run so hard and fast that I’d throw up. But now my body was used to it and I could run for hours without getting tired.

I began to sweat, despite the cool air, and my hair stuck to my damp forehead.

My breath was heavy and the steady beat of my heart in my chest soothed me.

I was so absorbed in the humming of my body that I didn’t notice when someone fell into step beside me, but soon their presence became overwhelming.

I flicked my gaze over to the stranger and found that it was no stranger at all.

It was the tackler. Cade, he’d said his name was.

My steps faltered and I tripped.