When Constellations Form (Light in the Dark 4)

“Oh, wow.” Nova shakes her head, her lips parted in awe. “That’s crazy.”

“I know,” I agree.

That’s what I keep saying about this whole thing, that it’s crazy. Some days I feel like it’s a dream, but then I get sick and realize it’s real.

“How have you been feeling?” Sarah asks, her voice breaking into my thoughts.

I shrug. “I have good days and bad days.”

“Mostly bad,” Xander mumbles.

I laugh. “Yeah, mostly bad,” I agree. “Morning sickness is no joke—and why do they call it morning sickness? I’m sick all day.”

Sarah smiles and pats my hand. “I know what you mean—I only experienced the all-day sickness with one kid, and it was no joke. Any guesses which one it was?” she asks, her eyes sparkling with humor.

As a collective group we all turn to look at Xavier. “What?” He bats his eyes innocently. “I’m a perfect angel, I’d never do such a thing.”

Sarah snorts. “My whole pregnancy with Xavier, I cursed Cooper and told him I hated him. I was miserable.”

“And then she had him, and he never shut up,” Xander pipes in.

Alexis laughs and looks at her little brother, ruffling his hair. “You cried all the time,” she tells him. “I remember asking Mom if we could give you away.”

“Hey,” Xavier whines, ducking away from her hand. “You guys love me, and you know it.”

“We do now,” Xander chortles. “But back then? Not so much.”

Xavier frowns. They always make fun of him, it’s one of the many perils

of being the youngest.

“When are you due?” Sarah asks.

“February twentieth.”

“Oh, that’s plenty of time to get things ready. Perfect.” She smiles optimistically.

I, on the other hand, disagree. That feels much too soon. It’s crazy for me to think that in a matter of months I’ll have a baby.

Xander rubs my shoulders, sensing the tension I’m feeling.

I look over at him, flashing a grateful smile.

He leans over and kisses the corner of my mouth. “Breathe,” he reminds me in a hushed whisper.

Whenever I get nervous I have this bad habit of holding my breath. I don’t quite understand it, and it sucks, but thankfully I have Xander to remind me to breathe.

“Food’s ready!” Cooper calls out from the grill.

I’m thankful for the small reprieve from baby talk.

I’m sure most women would be thrilled to talk all things baby, but not me. It makes me nauseous.

Or maybe that’s just my morning sickness rearing its ugly head.

Ah, shit.

I take off running for the house, but I know I’m never going to make it. I veer off for a bush, heaving over it.