Broken Hearts (Light in the Dark 5)

“And live happily ever after.”

Xander

“Mommy! Daddy! Get up! Get up!”

I’m jolted awake by tiny feet jumping on our bed.

I crack open my eyes and find Xael, Xoey, and Xara, jumping on the bed.

“Careful,” I warn and grab Xara. She laughs as she falls to the bed in my arms. She’s just shy of three years old and sometimes I worry about all the trouble her older sisters seem to drag her into. They forget she’s not as big as them.

“What are you three doing?” Thea asks, cracking an eye open.

“It’s time to get up, the sun’s out,” Xoey declares.

Thea glares at me. “I’m going to kill you for teaching them that.”

“My teacher says kill is not a nice word,” Xael whisper-hisses to Thea.

Thea sighs. “I’m going to … cuddle you,” she amends.

I grin. “Sounds fun, sweetheart.”

She swats me with a spare pillow and I laugh, Xara wiggling in my arms.

The baby begins to cry and Thea groans. “You go get the baby,” she tells me.

I let go of Xara and she scurries across the bed on her hands and knees to Thea.

Thea’s face lights up and she tickles Xara. Xara’s laughter fills the room, and the other girls hurry to their mom’s side.

For all of Thea’s griping and complaining, I know she loves those girls with all her heart. Watching her with them has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. I accept her complaining as a way to fuck with me—it’s her favorite past-time.

I head across the hall to the baby’s room.

I find him wiggling unhappily in his crib. His legs and fists flailing through the air.

“Hey, bud.” I pick him up and toss him into the air slightly. Instantly, his cries stop and he starts laughing.

Xane joined our family six months ago.

Thea and I made a deal after Xoey?

?we’d stop having kids when we got a boy, or when we got to five, whichever came first.

I may have wanted five kids, but I think my family is perfect the way it is.

I head back across the hall and climb into bed with Thea and the girls.

All the girls take turns kissing Xane on the top of his head. I was worried they’d be jealous of him, since he’s a boy, but they’ve all been perfect.

I recline my back against the headboard and bounce Xane on my legs. His baby giggles make us all laugh—there’s something so amusing about how easily babies laugh.

I glance over at Thea as she watches me, our daughters piled between us, and I know there’s no place I’d rather be than here with them.

When I first got my diagnosis of chronic end stage kidney disease, I honestly thought I’d never finish this book. Between the procedures, surgeries, doctors, dialysis, etc, I felt like I had no life. I went from being a full-time writer to having my whole life upended. Most days the dialysis made me too tired to write. Dialysis is no joke, and it’s hard on your body. But I was desperate to write. My diagnosis had already taken so much from me, and I refused to let it take the thing I loved the most. So, I adjusted and made time to write. Some days I even wrote while I was at dialysis since while I used a catheter I could. To get to this point, to the end, not only of the book but of the series as a whole, feels like a huge accomplishment. Maybe even more so than finishing my first book, because I managed to do this all while going through all of this. Jace and Nova held my hand through one of the darkest times of my life, and for that they’ll always hold a special place in my heart. I don’t feel like this is the end; it’s only the beginning.

Thank you to my mom who’s been there for me every step of the way with my diagnosis and dialysis. This has been hard on you too, but thank you for being there for me. Thank you for encouraging me to write and get on with my life. This one’s for you.