I Love You, I Hate You: Part 2

“Look ma’am, my daughter is back there. I understand that there’s nothing I can do for her but she came in with my wife.” Wife is a stretch, but they’d never let me back there if I said girlfriend, which is also a lie, and I’d for sure fail if I said baby mama.

“You’re wife!” Kelly screams from the triage desk. Her chair goes rolling and a door slams somewhere behind me. I don’t care enough to look.

“Please. I need to be with my wife.”

The woman’s face softens to sympathy. She walks over to the newly abandoned computer and swipes her badge to unlock it. “Who’s the patient?”

“Molly Harris.” This is probably the only time I’ll ever wish Danika had given Molly last name instead of mine. The Winters’ name might have had some pull because of Walter.

The nurse swipes her badge again and stands upright. “Come on.”

“Really?” Tears of relief sting at the back of my eyes. I thought I’d have to fight harder with Kelly sitting at triage. I thought she’d keep me out here, in the dark, away from Danika.

The nurse gives me a sad smile, then nods. I refuse to read into her somber expression as I follow her through two sets of locked doors and down the hallway to a lounge I’m assuming is for nurses only. The room has the bare minimum, a small kitchenette, a table, a television mounted on the wall, and a light blue loveseat Danika is curled into a ball on.

Danika lifts her head at the sound of the door opening. She’s a mess, as I expected. As soon as she sees me she jumps up and throws her arms around my neck. I hold her as she breaks down again. I stroke her long locks, trying not to tug on her roots as my fingers get stuck in knots. “It’s okay, honey. Molly will be all right.”

Danika shakes her head and looks up at me, red rimmed eyes filling with water again. “She died, Logan. On the way here. They…” Her whole body shakes, ragged breaths eating her words.

I cradle Danika’s cheeks in my hands and rest my forehead against hers. My stomach twists and my own tears are seconds away from spilling down my cheeks but I will be strong. For her. “They brought her back.”

Danika nods as another sob breaks through. I hold her tight, willing what little strength I have in my body to leave me and go to her. I guide us to the couch and sit. I lay Danika down, her head in my lap, and play with her hair until she cries herself to sleep. Someone should get some rest. We have a long night ahead of us.

36

Logan

“Any news?” Mom has a cardboard drink carrier filled with coffee in her hand. She sets the holder on the center table and drags a chair over.

I wish, but we’ve been kept in the dark. Walter hasn’t come to see us and the nurses I’ve harassed have been tight-lipped. “Not yet.”

Danika sits up and wipes the sleep and mascara trails from her eyes. “No news is good news.”

“No. Good news is good news.” Mom takes a coffee for herself and brings the black plastic lid to her lips.

Danika slumps back against the couch cushion and closes her eyes. She’s lost the will to fight and that scares me. “No news means she’s not dead.”

I know Mom. She can’t help but say something snarky, especially when I’m around. She’s gotten better over the years about not being so cold-hearted towards me, but sometimes she can’t help herself. To keep the words I know are lingering on her lips from spilling out I ask, “Who let you in? I had a hell of a time with the triage nurse.”

Mom flicks her

hand in the air and sits back in her chair crossing her legs. “Walter got me a pass. Before Danika and Molly moved in, I used to come up when Walter was working and have lunch with him.”

“That doesn’t require an access badge.” I’m making conversation just to make it. I don’t care nor want to know what happens on Walter’s break but it’s better than silence and wondering. I look at the clock on the wall. It’s only been thirty minutes but it feels like I’ve been in this room my entire life. I’ve turned my head to the open door every time someone has walked by, hoping they have news about Molly.

Mom arches her eyebrow. “Do you really want the details of what happens when I visit your stepfather?”

“Gross mom.” Heavy footsteps travel from outside the door into the room. I sit up straight, each muscle tense, watching. This is it.

Walter pauses in the doorway, long enough for Mom to gasp. He holds up his hands and comes closer, “Relax. It’s not her blood.”

Thank fucking God. His green scrubs aren’t drenched, but there’s enough blood to cover most of his shirt and splatter his pants. Too much if it had come from my little girl.

“One of the residents burst a blood bag.” Walter shakes his head. “Don’t ask me how she did it, those things are tough, but it got me and two other nurses.”

“You have a fucking newbie working on my daughter?” Heat claims my neck and climbs to my cheeks. Danika takes my hand and brings it to her lap. Funny how the tables have turned and she’s the one comforting me now.

“Relax. That was the only thing she did.”