Heads You Win

Sasha enjoyed his twice-weekly supervisions, and never missed a lecture, although Ben Cohen kept trying to persuade him there was a life beyond academia. Ben had recently joined the Union and begun to take an interest in politics. After much arm-twisting, Sasha had agreed to attend the next debate with him. Sasha rarely ventured beyond the walls of Trinity unless it was to spend time with Charlie in Newnham. But then, Dr. Streator had made it clear at their first supervision that he expected all three of them to be high Wranglers. Nothing less would be acceptable. While others excelled on the playing fields, Streator considered it his duty to stretch his students’ minds, not their muscles. However, Sasha felt a trip to the Union couldn’t do any harm.

The hour went by so quickly, that when the clock chimed again, Sasha closed his notebook and reluctantly gathered up his papers. He was about to leave when Streator said, “Can you spare me a moment, Karpenko?”

“Yes, of course, sir.”

“I wondered if you had anything planned for this evening?”

“I was going to the Union.”

“This house would not fight for Queen and country.”

“Yes, sir. Will you be there?”

“No, I’ve had enough of war,” said Streator, without explanation. “But when you’ve got a free evening, perhaps you could join me after supper for a game of chess, where kings, queens, and knights are not imprisoned, executed, or assassinated, but simply moved across a board and occasionally removed.” Sasha smiled. “But I must warn you, Karpenko, I have an ulterior motive. I’m the don in charge of the university chess team, and I want to find out if you’re good enough to be selected for the match against Oxford.”

* * *

“Have you slept with her yet?”

“Ben, you’re the crudest individual I’ve ever come across.”

“That’s only because you’ve led such a sheltered life. Now answer the question. Have you slept with her?”

“No, I haven’t. Frankly I’m not even sure how she feels about me.”

“How can you be so clever and so stupid at the same time, Sasha? Charlie adores you, and you must be about the only person who doesn’t realize it.”

“But it still wouldn’t be easy,” said Sasha, “because Newnham doesn’t allow their undergraduates to have a man in their room after six, and even then, if I recall the regulations, he has to keep both feet on the floor at all times.”

“This may come as a surprise to you, Sasha, but people have been known to have sex before six o’clock, and even with both feet on the floor.” Sasha still didn’t look convinced. “But that isn’t the reason I wanted to see you. Are you still coming to the debate tonight?”

“This house would not fight for Queen and country,” said Sasha. “Yes, even though it’s a ridiculous motion, which I assume will be overwhelmingly defeated.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that. There are an awful lot of Bolshies around who’d happily support the idea of the Queen living in a council house. But there’s another reason I want you to come. So you can meet my latest girlfriend.”

“Have you slept with her yet?” asked Sasha, grinning.

“No, but it shouldn’t be long now, because I know she’s got the hots for me.”

“Ben,” said Sasha in disgust, “English is the language of Keats, Shelley, and Shakespeare, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“You clearly haven’t read Harold Robbins.”

“No, I haven’t,” said Sasha, letting out an exaggerated sigh. “However, if for no other reason than to meet this unfortunate lady who’s got what you so elegantly describe as the hots for you, I’ll come along.”

“Actually, she’s also quite bright.”

“She can’t be that bright, Ben. Think about it.”

“And she’s the only woman on the Union committee,” said Ben, ignoring the gibe.

“Then she must be out of your league.”

“There is no league once you get

them into bed.”

“Ben, you have a one-track mind.”