Watch Me (Phoenix 1)

“I do know that,” Zoey said, smiling over at Hazel. She gave the best hugs. “Honestly, I don’t even know where my head is at right now, other than I’m feeling sad. Sad any of this has happened. It’s weird, you know?” She turned her head toward Elise. “I’ve thought about Scott every day for the past year. His existence was there in my head all the time, and now he’s just…gone. I think I’m having trouble reconciling that.”

Elise gave a soft nod in understanding. “You’ve got a lot to process, but if you ask me, that guy got what was coming to him.”

“He sure as hell did,” Hazel agreed. When Zoey looked at her in surprise, Hazel shrugged. “I know I’m not usually one to wish harm on anyone, but we all answer to someone. Scott’s choices could only lead him down one path.”

Zoey leaned her head back against her pillow and closed her eyes, letting the quiet darkness fall over her. “Rhys said that same thing, and I know you’re all right, but when Rhys confronted them, Scott apologized to me. It felt sincere.”

“Yeah, but the thing is,” Elise countered. “That was an apology for you, not for him. Maybe he was trying to right a wrong to make you feel better. I imagine he lost all the good parts of his soul when he stood by and let what happened to you happen, and that’s what drove him to do what he did.”

The thought of anyone being in that much pain had Zoey fighting back tears, her throat squeezing up tight. “But isn’t that sad? How long does someone have to pay for something they’ve done wrong?”

Elise’s voice turned harsh. “Forever, Zoey, because that’s how long you have to deal with it too.”

With that statement, Elise had made things very clear. Zoey opened her eyes and glanced between her friends. “Yeah, but I don’t want to deal with this forever,” she acknowledged.

Hazel and Elise exchanged a worried look before Elise said firmly, “You’re not thinking of hurting yourself.”

“Of course not,” said Zoey, taking her friends’ hands and squeezing tightly. “I’ve always known I had to keep going, no matter what. But, I guess, after that picture came out, I was on autopilot, just trying to survive what had happened. I kind of just took one step in front of the other to keep moving forward, but then I met you two, and everything changed.”

“Because we love you,” Hazel said.

Elise smiled. “We do, so much.”

“And I love you both too.” Zoey smiled as well, the same lump rising in her throat again. “At the same time, I think that’s what is so confusing. You see, we had a plan. Get my type of justice against Jake and Scott at Phoenix. That’s what drove us for a while.”

Elise caught on. “But then things changed?”

“Everything changed,” Zoey agreed with a nod. “After my night at Phoenix, I thought I’d walk away and move home with the money I needed to get my life back on track. But ever since that night, every time I think about leaving, I get this lump in my throat. I know that’s because I don’t want to move away. I don’t want to leave either of you.”

“Then, don’t go,” Hazel implored.

Elise squeezed Zoey’s hand tightly. “If we’ve given you the impression that we want you to go, I’m sorry. We really want you to stay, but we thou

ght you needed our support. That’s all.”

Zoey’s voice quivered. “I did need your support, but I don’t think it’s as simple as wanting to stay or leave. I’m not sure I have a choice in the matter.”

Elise pushed up, giving a fierce stare. “You have a choice in everything, Zoey.”

If only it were that easy. “To a point, I agree with you. I had the choice to walk through Phoenix’s doors. I had the choice to take Rhys up on his offer to spend more time with him. I even had the choice to cross over that line and let my heart get tangled up in this wild fantasy I’ve been living.”

Hazel’s brows drew together. “I’m waiting for the bad in all this. Rhys is a total catch.”

“Which is exactly the problem,” Zoey said. “He is a catch. I wasn’t supposed to feel like this. Because no matter how good things are right now, the truth remains, what happened with Jake and Scott is never going away. No matter what I do. No matter that there is so much good in my life at the moment.” She smiled between them. “I’ve got these two best friends who mean the world to me. I’ve got this amazing guy showing me this incredible life I never would have believed existed. I’m actually trusting people again. I’m feeling things I refused to let myself feel before. And yet, hanging over all that, is the constant reminder that, in a split second, everything can go wrong. Here, in New York City, I cannot escape what happened. I fear taking the subway. I’m terrified to accept a drink I don’t see poured in front of me. It feels like there is no escape.”

Elise’s expression said: Don’t escape. Fight against it. Of course, she never spoke those words aloud. Elise wouldn’t. That wasn’t her style. Instead, her friend gave her a knowing look. “Just trust in yourself and your judgment. You’ve got this. And no matter what happens, if you decide to stay or leave, we’ll be here for you.”

Zoey did the last thing she thought she’d do today. She smiled. And then fell into the warm embrace of the two friends who’d brought her back from the darkest time in her life.

Chapter 13

Rhys woke up irritated, and the mood stayed with him for the remainder of his day, including through his dinner business meeting. Ever since Katherine, Rhys had stuck to the rules, lived by a moral code, and never broke away from that. He knew the risks with Zoey when he began breaking rules for her, but he hadn’t anticipated where his heart would be at the end of their time together. But now he knew. He didn’t want her to leave. He wanted to keep exploring this amazing thing they had going on. He knew there was something special about her the night he met her, and he’d been fooling himself into believing he controlled any of this. It didn’t matter if a day had passed, or a month, or a year, he wanted her.

Needing to get his head on straight, he called the guys over. The men currently sitting around him on his patio next to the pool had been there when Katherine died. They’d all seen him break down and cry. For the last hour, he admitted everything. Including that, while throwing out his rule book for Zoey, he’d also throw her his heart.

“Fight for her,” Archer said, sitting across from Rhys.

The sparkling lights of New York City glistened across the dark sky behind him, but any light in Rhys felt diminished. “It’s not that easy.”