Tamed (Club Sin 5)

She sighed.

“I have needs, Ruthie, you cannot imagine. I must have the control, but what you do to me, it’s beyond anything I’ve experienced. I want to sink inside you and never come out. I want to mark you with my flogger, leave bite marks on your skin, and lick them all better so you’ll know where I’ve tasted. I want to tie you down with my ropes so when you squirm from the pleasure you can’t go anywhere. I want to fuck you in front of other people, make you scream my name so everybody knows who you belong to. You make me crazed with this insane lust to possess you.”

“I am yours, Tobias. Yours,” she affirmed.

“It would hurt so good, Ruthie.” In his voice was his struggle.

But those words were a promise, and for a second Ruthie thought she’d won. Then he released her roughly, rose, and stepped away.

“You can’t handle what I want to do to you.” His words lowered like a gauntlet, and she wanted to weep.

Ruthie let her head fall forward as a tear leaked from her eye. The heat of its track matched the firebrand poker embedded in her heart. He was denying her.

Candace had warned her about this. Tobias was a dark man with dark needs. Her friend had seen him in scenes, and the demons riding him brought an exquisite pleasure/pain to the women he submitted. Her friend had cautioned that Tobias might love her too much to visit his darkness on her. She’d done her best to prepare Ruthie for anything and everything, including his rejection.

As the silence became overwhelming, Marvin Gaye’s voice faded out, leaving only Ruthie’s rough breaths rebounding through the room. Candace’s words were a cacophony in her head now.

“I love you,” she said softly. It wasn’t a plea, it was the truth, and if he wouldn’t let her give him anything else, she’d give him that.

“I know,” he returned in a voice tinged with bitter regret.

“Show me, Tobias. Show me who you are. Let me be what you need,” she demanded.

“It’s too much for you. You can’t handle my lusts or my dominance. You would try, but the simple truth is I would want more. I would break the sweetness in you, Ruthie, and that would kill me,” he said in a low tone.

More. The word sliced her so deeply she wondered if she was bleeding out on his floor.

“I came here to give you all I am and feel—my hopes, dreams, desires…” She trailed off as the pain washed over her, taking her breath.

He was in front of her again, on his knees now, his ragged breaths blowing the hair off her face. “What I feel for you goes beyond anything I’ve ever felt for anyone else. I make love to you, Ruthie. Worship your body with the soft kisses and gentle touches it deserves,” he murmured so low she struggled to hear him. “You’re asking me to visit things on you—fuck, Ruthie, I can’t do it.”

She inhaled as agony speared her chest. “I’m not enough.”

His breath hissed out. “What you’re asking me to do has nothing to do with gentle. I’ve walked this tightrope with you for a year now, and holding back is becoming harder and harder. My lust for you mocks me.” He took a deep breath, and Ruthie’s heart sank anew. “Your skin is so soft.” He trailed a finger across her collarbone, over her shoulder, and down her arm. “Your body is the stuff of my dreams.” His hands cupped her hips, fingers digging deep.

Ruthie hissed as wetness pooled low.

“This ass, this perfect ass, would flex under my paddle, and I can only imagine the feel of your pussy wrapping around my cock, holding me, after you’ve begged me to take you. I want to break you in the most sexual of ways, Ruthie, and then drive into you over and over, harder, deeper, hold you to keep you in place for my thrusts as I put you back together. I want to sink my teeth into your shoulder, not allow you to move, because you’re mine and I want you to know it.”

His big body trembled against hers. He’d moved so close she could feel his every breath.

“But I can’t do those things because a taste would drive me mad. You don’t know who I am, not really, and I haven’t wanted you to see that part of me.” He rose and stepped away from her then.

“I know what to expect, Tobias. I’ve researched this—”

He laughed, and the sound was harsh and bitter in the quiet of the room. “Researched? With who? Candace?” There was a slight sneer in his voice, and it hurt.

She nodded and lifted her chin stubbornly. “I had to know what to expect. You want things and I want to be the one to provide them.”

“You don’t know—”

“And there are things I want and need too,” she said, raising her voice and cutting him off. “I need to give you control. I need you to quiet my mind so I can concentrate on the pleasure. I’ve spent almost my entire life fighting for independence, and with a single stroke of your skin over mine you make me want to give it all up and crawl inside you, please you until you return it a thousand-fold. In my heart, that’s what I know you’d do.”

Ruthie was close to begging now. He was pulling away from her. Denying her. Desperation clawed its way up her throat. “You think I don’t hear the buried craving in your voice? You think my body doesn’t go wet and soft for you when you squeeze my hip or bite at my lips?”

“Please don’t do this to me,” he pleaded in a rough voice.

She got to her feet, praying her legs held her up. He’d said he wanted to break her, and he was surely doing it by refusing them both. “It’s because I’m blind.”