Pining For You (Jasper Falls 4)

She felt like she needed to sit down but she was already sitting. “Okay.”

His gaze shot to the side as he seemed to gather his words. “I love this town. I’ve always had a thing for small town charm. Everyone’s been very welcoming of us and they never made me feel like an outcast of any sort—until the night of the gala.”

“Why would they treat you like an outcast?”

His lips pressed into a thin line. “Because that’s what I’ve always been.” He took her hands, and she realized how much this confession cost him as his fingers tremored in her grip. “I didn’t have a father growing up, and my mom saw me as more of a burden than a son.”

Her heart suddenly felt bruised. “I had no idea.”

A sad smile curved his mouth but quickly disappeared. “I didn’t want anyone to know.”

She never saw him so vulnerable and open. “We don’t have to talk about your childhood if it upsets you. It’s Christmas. We can just enjoy the holiday and discuss this stuff another time.”

“I spent a week without you, and that was too long. I don’t want to wait to tell you the truth about who I am.”

“Okay.”

He drew in a steady breath. “My mom died of a drug overdose when I was ten. She was never nice to me, but it devastated me. She was still my mother and all I knew. I cried for days, unsure what my life would become. Eventually, the state took custody of me, and I went into the system.”

She hadn’t known or suspected any of this. “You’re so…together now. They must have put you with a good family.”

The bleak look in his eyes told her she was wrong. “They put me with a dozen families, none of them kept in touch through the years.”

“Oh, Rhett, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

“It’s okay. I worked for a while, landed some good jobs and got my life together—actually saved some money. Then I met Addison’s mom.”

Her mind returned to the day she’d snooped in his bedroom and spied the ledger on his desk with all the medical expenses recorded. She prepared for a complication, certain the woman who gave birth to Addison was still alive.

“Adel is a good person with a troubled heart. She has a lot of mental health issues, and like my mother, she’s an addict.”

Understanding dawned. “That’s where you were this week.”

He nodded. “I take care of her for Addison’s sake, but also because I can afford to. My daughter is my whole word. She gives me a purpose, and I never want her to feel the emptiness I felt growing up. I know Adel will never be a normal mom, but it’s important for me to make sure Addison never feels abandoned.”

“Of course.”

“She sends her cards on birthdays and holidays, and when Addy’s old enough she’ll realize who Adel is to her but, for now, we’ve agreed that distance is best.”

“Does she fight you for custody?”

“Not when she’s sober. And when she’s not… No judge would even hear her out in that condition.”

“And you’ve been dealing with this on your own, keeping it to yourself all these years?”

“My staff knows, because I occasionally have to leave town to deal with problems when Adel has a bad episode, like this week. But they understand my personal life isn’t open for discussion.”

She considered what Erin said about Skylar assuming she was the only woman in his life. “Are you and Adel still… Do you ever…?”

“Are we intimate? No.” He looked her in the eye and the confidence she was used to finding in his stare returned. “Skylar, I’ve been with others, but it’s never compared to what I experienced with you.”

“Really?”

He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her fingertips. “I know you don’t have a lot to compare it to, but what we shared… It was life changing.”

Her finger brushed over the satin box and his gaze followed the motion. “This is a big deal, Rhett. Marriage is a lifetime commitment in my family.”

“Remember how I told you I was greedy?”

She smirked. “Yes.”

“Well, this week gave me a lot of time to think. I want you, Skylar. Not just as my daughter’s nanny or as a lover in my bed, I want you in my life—every day. At first, I wasn’t sure what this obsession was. I’d never felt anything like it before. The only thing close to comparing to the feelings I have for you is the devotion and affection I hold for Addy. I…love my daughter, but I’m duty bound to do right by her.”

“Call it whatever you want, Rhett, but you’re a good father because you’re a good man. Duty has very little to do with how well you treat her.”

“But it’s how I managed to figure out fatherhood having never had a father of my own.”