Hold on to My Heart (Maine Sullivans)

There were so many things she wanted to say to her ex right then. That he’d have more money if he learned to hold down a job, rather than showing up late and mouthing off to his bosses. That he’d be doing better if he had paid attention in school instead of cutting class to go off with his friends. But she’d made those arguments before, and they’d only served to make him feel like his failures truly were everyone else’s fault but his and that he’d been dealt a bad hand.

Even worse, after having been absent from Kevin’s life for the first eight years, he now expected her unending gratitude for finally being a part of their son’s life. Simply because he was willing to occasionally play the “father” role, he believed she should shower him with praise.

As it was, nine times out of ten she wished he wasn’t in the picture. Okay, sometimes he was a good dad when he momentarily forgot about his ego and played ball with Kevin, or went for a bike ride. But the majority of the time, he was either ignoring Kevin, or introducing him to things that were totally inappropriate for his age, like violent movies and video games.

The worst was when he promised to show up and then didn’t. It was heartbreaking to see how abandoned her son felt. Of course she understood that Kevin wanted a relationship with his father. What kid wouldn’t? And yet, theirs was a relationship that forever remained on Josh’s selfish terms.

“Surely,” she said in as measured a voice as she could manage, given how frustrated she was with hearing the same excuses over and over again, “you’ve been saving for your camping trip with Kevin.” How expensive could it possibly be to go camping? Cooking over a fire. Sleeping in a tent. Apart from renting a couple of fishing poles and making campground reservations, there wasn’t a ton to spend money on.

“You know my back isn’t great,” Josh whined. “If I sleep in a tent on the ground, I’ll be in too much pain to do my job at the airport when I get back.”

Josh was a baggage handler at Bangor International Airport. He’d been in the job for about four months, and while Ashley hoped he’d be able to actually keep this job, he’d made enough comments about how neither the staff nor the customers appreciated him that she sensed he wasn’t going to be working there too much longer.

“I’ve rented an RV,” he announced, “but the rental company told me I need to pay in full before me and Kevin head out on our trip.”

She didn’t know why she was even the slightest bit surprised by this turn of events. Of course Josh would take something as simple as pitching a tent and cooking over a campfire and turn it into what she could easily guess was a top-of-the-line RV rental, with all the bells and whistles.

Again, there was plenty she wanted to say to him. Swallowing it the way she usually did, she said, “How much do you need?”

His eyes lit with victory. He’d gotten exactly what he wanted. Again. He’d known that he would, because she would do anything for her son. Even put up with being bled dry by Josh.

“Fifteen hundred should do it.”

She swallowed hard—$1,500 was a lot of money. After taking her own trip abroad, it was far more than she could spare.

As though he could read her mind, Josh added, “You were the big spender taking that trip to Europe. You must be rolling in it to fly over for the weekend.”

“I’m not an endless pool of money. This is the last time I’m going to bail you out.”

Ignoring her threat, he said, “I need the money by tonight, or I lose my reservation.”

Just then, there was a knock on her office door, and Annie, the hostess for the café, poked her head in.

“Ashley, there’s somebody here to see you.” Annie was flushed and looked hugely excited. Even more excited than she’d been when Ashley’s movie-star cousin Smith Sullivan had been in town with his wife, Valentina, for their honeymoon.

Ashley didn’t know why her sixth sense was suddenly speaking so loudly, but she had the craziest thought. Surely it couldn’t be—

“Nash Hardwin!” Annie exclaimed. “He’s here! And he’s asking for you, Ashley.”

Ashley’s brain and heart and body instantly went haywire. She honestly didn’t know if she was thrilled or upset. Excited or horrified. She felt like she was spinning round and round until she no longer knew which way was up and which way was down. There was a roaring inside her ears, her heart was pounding, and she was sweating. It felt like everything was firing at once.

Everything except the ability to move her feet or her mouth. She felt completely stuck and mute.