Zandian Lights (Zandian Brides 4)

I blink hard. I can’t possibly follow through with this charade of a mating ceremony with Arc and Bow. But how will I survive on this planet once Mykl and his Zandian female are together? Seeing them everywhere? It’s going to kill me.

I suck back a sob and gather flowers, as if the small blossom can be woven into a lifeline, one I will use to pull myself out of this hell and into a more generous future.

Chapter 9

Mykl

* * *

“You were kept as a pleasure slave for years?” I keep my voice l

ow and even, as to not upset Alena, the female.

“Yes.” Seated beside me in the grotto, she nods. Crystals shine around us. She comes here daily now to soak up sustenance as she continues to heal. I have joined her, and each time we meet, my misgivings grow deeper. Like I’ve made a colossal, unfixable mistake.

“The memories must be painful. Damaging. I will do my best to ensure that your life from henceforth is tranquil.” The breeze blows the gauzy sleeve of her gown onto my arm and I brush it away, because it feels like an insect. I do it carefully, though, so as not to offend her.

She inclines her head. I am not sure if she is agreeing that yes, her memories are difficult, or yes, she would like a smooth cohabitation.

I rub my jaw. “Ah, are you implying yes to the first or the second?”

“Both.”

“I see. Sensible, of course.”

“Yes.”

We sit in silence.

I sneak a glance at her profile. It’s so odd to see a female like myself. It’s like looking in a blurred mirror. Water with ripples. There’s her strong jaw and high forehead. Her bright, seeking eyes. That patrician nose. Her high, small breasts and her long elegant legs. All lean muscle and power. The being I’ve wanted for my entire life. Here she is. It’s critical that I properly appreciate her. I must not waste this opportunity, one any Zandian male would kill to have.

“I, ahem. Young? How do you feel about…” I think about mating her, how her naked body will feel under mine. But all I can imagine is Kianna.

Stars, I must focus.

“It is my duty to Zandia to provide young.” Her voice is prim and even. “I will make it my goal to do so admirably and in a way that will honor our planet. Dr. Daneth removed the contraceptive device and said that I have not been… damaged, in that regard.”

For the first time, I note signs of chinks in her armor when she flinches and licks her lip briefly. I see her tongue, and recognize that I should probably want to bite it or kiss it. I think about Kianna and her soft, small, wicked little mouth.

I stifle a groan and adjust my pants. Veck! This is not the time. Or, rather, it could be the time, but the physical manifestation has been brought about by the absolute wrong female.

“I will pierce you with my crystals at the solstice. The light, it will heal you the rest of the way.” My voice is hopeful. I can hear a tone in there that I don’t myself understand. Like I’m pleading with her. “It will make us happy together.”

She looks at me. “Do you really believe that?” It’s the first time she’s spoken with any emotion at all. And it sounds like anger.

I look away for a second. “I’ve heard the light has restorative properties.”

“That, yes. But the other?”

I shake my head. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for you?”

“For me, specifically?”

I continue without answering. “I was going to be the best fighter Zandia has ever seen, then I was injured. But I can pass my skills on by mating a Zandian female who is as strong as I am.”

“So I’ve been told, by Dr. Daneth and King Zander. They are all eager to see me bred.” She sounds disgusted.

I swallow, my misgivings growing larger. “I promised my father on my honor I would mate a Zandian.” I offer it like an explanation. An excuse for why this wrongness must be right. “And that Zandian female is you. You are what I’ve wanted my entire life.”