Kept by the Zandian (Zandian Brides 5)

“We will get it through trial and error.” Bayla’s voice is calm, but I can feel her tension behind the gentle tone. We all know how critical it is to get this created, and fast.

“I don’t know what I’m missing.” Anger and pain swells inside my chest.

I sigh. Then I slide my fingers into my pocket and touch the coin. So far it has not helped me see any further than I can with my own two eyes, but it’s become a habit. I squeeze it hard, trying to release my anger.

“Try to remember anything she told you. Anything that seems helpful.”

Anything that seems helpful. Isn’t that all I’ve done, every single day, since I arrived? What’s distracting me today, apart from our disappointing results in the lab, is that King Zander has still not granted me asylum.

I was so sure that after the last mission, when I actually got back onto Romon-3 and obtained the asps, and then helped build the coalition with Marshan, that Drayk would immediately petition for my freedom.

But he has not. I don’t know what I must do, but clearly, they want more from me. The serum must be the thing.

I’m so sick of living on the edge, not knowing what my future will hold. Haven’t I done enough here to prove my worth?

“I am trying.” Tears fill my eyes suddenly and I blink them back in alarm. “I’m sorry. This is not helping.”

Bayla sighs and puts down her tools and snaps off her gloves. “Oh, sweet Taisha. You’ve been through so much. I know how hard you work.” It’s like she can read my mind and knows I need some kind of affirmation. “You are the talk of Zandia, with the things you’ve accomplished. You are a great boon to our planet.”

I sniff. “Yet still in detention.”

She looks away. “I am sure it’s merely a formality at this point?” She pats my shoulder. “You are valued, Taisha. By me and so many.” Her voice is earnest. “Please know that. It is just a matter of time.”

“I have such rage against the Ocretions. If only I could bottle that, I’m positive I could fell a thousand in a single second. Not even need this stupid potion.” I hit my head with both hands and groan.

“Taisha, stop!” She laughs but has a somewhat alarmed expression. “We all hate them. But you know what? I love you. Zandia loves you.”

“You do? It does?” I stare at her.

“What have I just been saying about how awesome you are?” She rolls her eyes.

I’m about to say, “But Drayk doesn’t love me.” This isn’t the time. And honestly, I’m so full of emotion to hear that I’m valued.

I smile at Bayla, and suddenly Leylah’s words come back. “Love is more powerful than hate.”

“What?”

“Leylah said that we can get farther on love than on hate. That’s what I needed to remember, I think.” A flash. Something is coming back to me, hints of memories that flicker among patches of purple and blue.

“How does that help us?” Bayla shakes her head.

“Maybe I’ve been focusing on the wrong thing.” I touch the coin again. It’s cold and sterile, so I reach out and take Bayla’s hand. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admit. “But whatever it is we do, let’s focus on—the people we going to save. Help. Not the ones who have hurt us.”

She blinks at me. “Isn’t that what we’re already doing?”

“Maybe you are. I have not.” I close my eyes. I allow myself to feel the love for Leylah, and push out the anger that accompanies it. I think about how Drayk makes me feel when he holds me at night, wrapped up in his strong arms. I focus on Bayla and how I love her too, and how important it is that we find her children.

My mind swirls and fills and suddenly it’s like I’m back in the barracks with Leylah. My whole body fills with warmth, with heat.

Heat.

My eyes fly open. “Heat! We have to heat the solution as we mix. That’s the part I forgot.”

“Mother Earth!” Bayla’s voice is tremulous with excitement. “Let us do it. How hot?”

I shake my head. “As hot as three burning coals, this far under a glass vial.” I illustrate the depth with my fingers. “I don’t know the numbers, but I can replicate it exactly. Show you just how Leylah did it.”

“I will summon Dr. Daneth. He will help us verify the calculations. I want to double and triple check this.”