Pepper, the Highlander & the Dead Guy

“Who knows, maybe you do?”

“Really?” I said, shaking my head.

“If you’re not okay with it, don’t go,” Amy said, always looking out for me, but then she is all too familiar with my relationship history, little there was of it.

I waved it off. “It’s not important. What is important is the deceased Mr. Stevenson disguising his real identity, which we have yet to find out and that he had left behind—probably by accident—a crude drawing of Willow Lake Lodge and my property that borders it.”

“That’s odd, so he knew he turned down the wrong road yet made it look like he didn’t know.” Amy shook her head. “How do you know Robert Louis Stevenson isn’t his real name? Maybe he was named after the Scottish author.”

I could always count on her to play the devil’s advocate, forcing me to look at all sides. “You have to admit the name seems odd. And you’re right, he made it seem that he turned down the wrong road when Madge told me that he knew not only my name but mentioned Skunk Hollow and when he talked with me, he said he was looking for Willow Lake Lodge and must have taken a wrong turn when he had known exactly where he was. Lie once, lie twice, be prepared to pay the price.” I shook my head, not believing I just recited one of many of my mom’s little lessons.

Amy smiled. “I can’t remember when I last heard that little rhyme of your mom’s.”

“Good, that means you haven’t lied in some time.”

Amy thumped her chest. “I’m sure glad I haven’t since Mr. Stevenson definitely paid a hefty price for lying.”

“But why lie?” I asked. “Why pretend to take a wrong turn to my place when he knew where he was going and what did he want at Willow Lake Lodge?”

“You don’t think anyone at Willow Lake Lodge could be involved in Stevenson’s death?” Amy asked, then almost choked on the wine she had sipped. “Oh my God, you’re going out with Ian to grill him about any possible connection to Mr. Stevenson.”

It took a bit longer than I expected for her to pick up on that, and I grinned.

“I knew you couldn’t go out on a date just for the sake of enjoying a date.”

“I don’t know what it is with dates and almost relationships that has me stumbling through one after another, getting nowhere.”

“Your brothers did it to you,” Amy said and refilled our wine glasses.

At the sound of liquid pouring, Mo raised his head from where he lay before the fireplace, Roxie curled up against his big furry body, to make sure he wasn’t missing any food that may have suddenly appeared. When he saw only wine, his head dropped, and his eyes closed.

“They kept you from forming any kind of innocent friendship with boys when we were young and forget when we were teenagers. They guarded you as if you were a vestal virgin.”

“That’s because they knew what they were up to themselves and weren’t about to let anyone do the same to me. I can’t really blame them, since they were looking out for their little sister. You helped me to sneak around them plenty of times. I did the rest to sabotage any possible date or relationship.”

“You did not. You need to try again.”

I rolled my eyes. “Not with my track record.”

Amy tried desperately not to laugh. “That was a fluke. It won’t happen again.”

“I won’t take the chance. I was so embarrassed I wished I was dead.”

“The guy should have handled it better,” Amy said, still fighting not to laugh.

“Really? You sit there just thinking about it and want to laugh. I wonder how many times he’s shared that story with someone, and everyone got a good laugh out of it.”

“At least it didn’t happen around here, or your brothers would have killed him. Still, you need to forget that—”

“Forget! Forget that while kissing a guy for the first time on our first date—I farted?”

“Tooted,” Amy reminded. “Women toot. Men fart or so Aunt Effie taught us.”

“It was not a toot. I ripped a full-blown fart, and he fell to his knees laughing hysterically.” Which Amy was doing now, tears rolling down her eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” Amy apologized while continuing to laugh, “but that is so funny. I can only imagine the look on the guy’s face.

“What look? He was too busy rolling around laughing and after he finally got control of himself, he ran out and burst into more laughter as soon as he was out the door.”

Amy wiped at the tears rolling down her cheeks. “At least you spared yourself from having a second date with the jerk.”

“True, but now tell me what you think would happen if I did that in front of Mr. Cover Model?”