One Bride for Five Brothers

“Oh yeah?” Charlie asks, suddenly curious. “Did she say something?”

Stan nods slowly. He looks Hank up and down, measuring him out.

“She's a grown woman, Hank. She seems to know her mind pretty well.”

“Yeah, but what did she say, exactly?” Tom persists.

“She said she wants to be here. She says she wants to hang out… you know. With us.”

“All of us?” I ask.

Stan nods.

“Like, literally? You asked her again? You explained to her how we are?”

Stan raises his hands and lets them fall so that his palms slap against his thighs. “What, you guys want a written transcript or something? Yes. I asked her. Yes. She's down. She's totally on board.”

“Or so she says,” Hank rolls his eyes.

“Isn’t that the way with anybody?” Stan says. “I mean, she's not a prisoner. She could change her mind at any time, yes. So you got to be nice, Hank. I mean, give it a try, why don't you?”

“I am nice,” Stan mutters.

“Nice and sarcastic,” Tom continues for him.

“Nice and cranky,” I pipe in.

“Oh, fuck you guys,” Hank replies. “You're the ones who messed up that whole situation with Mandy, aren't you? Like I'm going to take your word for anything.”

“Hey!” Tom objects.

“That's not their fault,” Stan says, stepping between us to bring the peace again. “Nobody saw that coming. I don't even know if Mandy saw it coming. And whatever happens with Vanessa… well, that's gonna happen. But you can't let your shitty attitude cut everything off before it even has a chance to take root, Hank.”

Hank mutters something under his breath I can't hear, something sullen.

“If you want to keep this family together,” Stan continues, “we gotta work at it. All of us, you know what I mean? That's what we talked about.”

Hank digs his toe into the dirt.

“You hear me? Say you hear me,” Stan insists.

Hank sighs, blowing his cheeks up and rolling his eyes.

“Fine, I hear you,” he finally says. “If she says she's down, maybe she really is. We'll see. Not like she's had anybody's dick in her yet. Not too late to cut her loose.”

“Now you’re talking!” Charlie laughs. “That's the real test, isn't it?”

Stan laughs into his hand. “Yeah, that's definitely the real test. Five dicks? I call that a test.”

“So let's ask her to dinner,” I suggest.

Tom glances at me, nodding immediately. He comes shoulder to shoulder with me so we can face them all.

“Yeah,” he continues my thought, “let’s invite the little princess to dinner. Find out what she's really made of.”

“I'm telling you, she says she wants it,” Stan shrugs. “Hank? Charlie? You ready?”

“Yeah, invite her to dinner,” Charlie says. “I'm dying to get a little slice of the pie, to tell you the truth.”