Faking It to Making It

And with that she turned and walked away.

As she drove off in her newly fixed old car she was glad it seemed to know the way home because her mind was anywhere but on the road.

Reliving every second, every nuance, every touch, every glance, she felt as if Nate had known why she’d come, and he’d carefully turned her about until she no longer knew what she was thinking.

Before she’d gone over there it had felt so much like love. Now it hurt like love, it burned like love, but with her genetic make-up—a transient femme fatale and a shut-in who pined his life away—who the hell was she to know?

TEN

Nate sat on the couch in his office in battered old track pants and a tank, trainer-clad feet on the coffee table, head resting on the back of the couch. His yoga mat remained curled up in the cupboard, along with his free weights and a folded-up rowing machine, while the sun set over Melbourne, sending long shadows across the room and turning his blue-and-white office a dreamy pinkish-gold.

Nate nudged his shoes off by the heels and slowly lowered his feet to the carpet. It was even softer than it looked. No wonder it had cost a mint. Hitching his pants, he curled his toes into the pile and closed his eyes.

And not for the first time in the past few days, behind his closed lids he saw Saskia.

This time it was barefoot, not five metres from where he sat, the sun shining through her unassuming clothes, revealing a figure you’d never guess would be hidden underneath that op-shop exterior.

Then he saw her lying back in his bed, dark tousled hair splayed out on his pillow, eyes sleepy and sensual as she looked up at him, hooked a hand behind his neck and pulled him down to make love to her.

He saw Saskia, her eyes fierce as she told him to loosen up, to open up, accept ruffling, to be a human being.

He saw Saskia, her face mottled with tears as she told him it was over.

“Here you are.”

Nate looked up to see Gabe, laptop bag over his shoulder as he prepped to head home for the day.

“Where else would I be?” It was meant to be a joke, but in the beat of silence both were all too aware it was the blatant truth of Nate’s life.

“Beer?” Nate asked.

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” Gabe dropped his bag and liberated two bottles from the bar below Nate’s bookshelves. He snapped the tops off the bottles, sank down on the other end of the couch and said, “So, out with it.”

Nate finished a mighty swig, then said, “With what?”

“The reason you’re sitting here pouting like a little girl.”

No point denying it. “Saskia and I broke up.” Knowing it was one thing. Saying it out loud made it feel real. Right behind his ribs. He took another swig.

“She with whom you were never actually going out?”

“Seems we were in the end.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“How’s that?”

“Gut told me. And Paige confirmed it. According to her, you’re seriously cute when you’re in lurve.”

“I’m not in...anything. As evidenced by the fact that I am no longer seeing her.”

“Lady’s choice?”

Nate thought back to their conversation a few nights before. Okay, so he’d thought it over a lot. Over and over. The twists and turns, the moments when he’d felt as if it was about to fall the other way before it flipped again, leaving his chest tight. He’d thought clinching an impossible investment deal was a rush, but being with Saskia was that times a thousand.

Had been, he reminded himself. Then took another swig.

“Yeah.” Gabe answered himself, giving Nate a thump on the shoulder. “Man, I’m sorry. I liked her. Paige liked her. Mae was on the verge of asking her to be another bridesmaid. Now, that woman is off her tree. If she wasn’t Paige’s best friend...”

“Poor Clint,” they said in unison.

Laughter followed and Nate knocked his bottle against Gabe’s. Friendship healed. And it felt good. A relief, even. A need met.

Even while he told himself he needed nothing but the business he’d built, the independence he’d earned, life was better with Gabe in it.

In fact life had been better these past weeks than he remembered it being in a long time. Simpler. Lighter. Easier. He’d seen more of his family than he had in months. His circle of friends—not merely acquaintances but actual friends—had grown without him even realising it, and it felt good.

And he’d had Saskia to thank for it all.

“Wedding’s Saturday, remember? So who’s the lucky girl you’ll be taking now?”