I'm Not Your Enemy (Enemies 2)

Figures.

With the coffeemaker running, I had no choice but to turn around and face him.

He was struggling with eye contact too, opting to get an invisible smudge off the crown of his hat. “The ranch hasn’t been the same since you left,” he admitted gruffly. Then he sighed and shook his head. “I haven’t been the same since you left, goddammit.”

That was a big change from his original statement, making it personal like that.

“I don’t think I ever told you this, Blake, but you were always easy to read. You never hid like your sister. Sophia would run up to her room and slam the door. David would shut down and stew in silence. But not you. If you’re angry, you break somethin’. If you’re happy…” He trailed off and scratched his head. “I haven’t seen you happy in quite some time, I’ve realized.”

The knot in my stomach grew tighter and larger, for new reasons. I didn’t know why. Something was welling up within me, and I didn’t get it.

“I remember seein’ you crushed, though.” He cleared his throat and put down his hat again. I noticed his fingers were trembling, a sight that made the growing unease crawl up and take hold of my chest. “When I told you to move—” He held a fist to his mouth, seemingly unable to get another word out. “I saw what I did. How I hurt my own boy—”

Alarm shot through me as a sob broke free from him, and he covered his face with his hands.

I fucking froze. Who was this man? He was actually crying. He was coming unglued. My father didn’t do that. He was barely a hugger. Emotional outbursts freaked him out more than anything else.

How I hurt my own boy.

My vision became blurry, and the tension inside me threatened to claw its way out.

“I am so ashamed, Blake,” he croaked.

Fuck.

Tears spilled over, and I quickly wiped them away. What did I do? My heart freaking broke to see him that way. His words sounded so sincere that I couldn’t help but feel hope. Maybe he could accept me after all.

I swallowed hard and made my way to his side of the bar. A hug was out of the question; that didn’t feel right to me in this case either, but I wanted to do something. I sat down on the other stool and awkwardly put a hand on his arm.

He sniffled and wiped at his face, visibly upset about being upset. “I came here to apologize, not fall apart like a child.”

That actually alleviated some of the tension, and I couldn’t help but chuckle, even as more tears welled up. For his sake, I’d keep it to myself.

He shuddered a breath and let his hands fall to the bartop. “I’m tired of pushin’ away my own children,” he said, his voice thick. “I’ve been so damn angry with myself, but I’ve taken it out on others.”

Part of me knew it was wrong to come to his defense. I just couldn’t help it. “I knew you wouldn’t have any personal problems with my orientation.”

He made a dismissive sound and shrugged off my hand on his arm. “Don’t matter. Because of your mama’s views, I caused enough damage by sidin’ with her.” To my surprise, he caught my hand in both of his and held it. “I will love that woman till the day I die, but since you left the ranch, I’ve had to cut myself in half. Because I can’t change her mind, and I can’t part with my kids. I just can’t, Blake. I have to be two men somehow.” He drew an unsteady breath and released my hand again to wipe at the remnants of his tears. “We had an argument on Thanksgivin’. I’d already purchased my plane ticket for today, and I had hopes we could maybe compromise—for your mama’s sake. Find some middle ground after I’d apologized. And she… We were talkin’ about y’all—about David and Melissa, if they were gonna have more kids, and about Sophia and Dylan and when they were gonna tie the knot. And you came up. She said we needn’t worry—you’ll find someone to settle down with when you’re no longer confused.”

I wasn’t surprised by that. It was the easy road Mom was taking, to justify her inability to take me seriously. If I was just confused, she could keep pretending it was nothing.

I was more surprised by Dad. I’d never heard him say so many words in a single rant unless he was bitching about politics.

“It was the first time in our forty-five years together I didn’t understand a word she was sayin’,” he admitted. “I even showed her the picture of you with that man—Sebastian. I told her, look here, this is what our boy looks like when he’s happy. He ain’t confused, I said. She just turned away.”