No Strings

“What happened?”

I step toward him to check it out, and he takes a step back, shaking his head. “I… I didn’t know who else to go to.” His hazel eyes, identical to his father’s, meet mine. “I know I have my dad, but…”

“Hey, I’m here. Come sit down.”

He follows me over to the couch, and we have a seat. I give him a few moments to gather his thoughts before I ask him to talk to me.

“I like girls,” he starts, confusing me because I know he does—hence him dating Sariah—and I’m not sure where he’s going. “But I also think I might like guys.”

I nod but remain quiet since I’m sure there’s more to come, and I want to let him get it all out.

“Shit, this is so embarrassing,” he mutters, scrubbing his hands over his face.

“No, it’s not. Whatever you have to tell me, I’m not judging.”

He releases a harsh sigh. “One night I was in my room watching…porn.” His cheeks tinge pink, and I have to swallow down my smile because it’s so normal, but I can imagine how embarrassing it is for a teenager to admit. “I clicked on a video, and it was of a girl and some guys. The guys, they were…” He meets my eyes, no doubt praying I understand so he doesn’t have to explain.

I nod my understanding, and he continues. “I was curious, so I found some with more guys. I was watching it when Ted barged into my room drunk. My mom was asleep. He liked to watch sports and drink after she went to bed. A lot of the time, he would pass out on the couch.”

A lump, the size of a bitter lemon, fills my throat as I pray to every God what he’s about to say isn’t what I think.

“He, umm, he called me a queer and shit, and I told him to get the hell out. Every time he would get drunk, he would talk shit, but I ignored him. I didn’t tell my mom because I didn’t want her to think I was gay. I don’t really know…”

“I get it,” I tell him. “But there’s nothing wrong with it if you are.”

“Yeah,” he breathes. “His taunting kept getting worse…and then one night, he told me if I want to find out if I liked guys, he could show me…” He clears his throat and looks down, refusing to meet my eyes as he says the next part. “He started unbuttoning his pants, telling me he could fuck me, and I would know if I was gay.”

Needing to remain strong for Brody because he’s trusting me with this, I swallow down the bile of anger burning my throat, patiently waiting for him to continue.

He glances up and looks at me, his eyes sad. “My mom used to say she was lonely, that my dad left her and she had to raise me alone. I didn’t want to ruin her happiness.”

Oh no. His getting into fights was his cry for help. He just didn’t know how to handle it. It’s why he never goes with his mom since he moved in with his dad.

“I don’t know your mom, but I can tell you that there’s no way she wouldn’t want to know what Ted was doing. I saw her at dinner that day, and she loves you. What he did is wrong…so damn wrong.”

“They broke up. My mom said he cheated. She didn’t tell me that, but I overheard her crying to her friend on the phone.”

I feel like what he’s telling me is a lead-up to more, so I simply nod and wait.

“She said he moved out, so I went with her for the weekend. I was pissed at Dad for upsetting you and making you leave.”

“He didn’t make me leave.”

“Whatever. He still upset you. I told him to fix it.”

Oh, my heart.

“I guess Ted wasn’t supposed to come back to get his stuff until later,” Brody says, changing gears, “but he showed up tonight while my mom was asleep. He saw my light on because I was playing my PlayStation and came in. He started calling me names and shit, and then he tried to kiss me. I pushed him away and tried to leave, but before I could, he punched me in my face. I hit him back, and he hit his head on the edge of my bed. When I left, he was knocked out cold.”

“You did the right thing. What he did is wrong and illegal on so many levels.”

He nods in understanding. “I just didn’t know where to go. I don’t want to hurt my mom and my dad… What if I am gay?” The nervous look on his face damn near breaks my heart.

“Has your dad ever indicated he would be upset if you were?” I don’t want to tell him he wouldn’t care if he’s nervous because of something his dad has said in the past.