Atonement (Master's Protege 2)

“Well, no. I killed… I killed a rabid dog once.”

He looks a bit stunned. “Did you? A rabid dog?”

“It was harder than it looks, and it was only for safety reasons. I was fifteen.”

“Why did you kill it?”

“It was… I was staying at Candi’s house.” Candi, my best friend, is a local Salem police officer who can hold her own with a gun these days. Back then, though, she was terrified. “Her dad had guns, but he was traveling, and her mom was out. They lived kinda far from the city. We were babysitting her younger brothers. There was this crazy dog, foaming at the mouth. And I just… shot him.”

Cain’s brows rise, but he doesn’t respond. Finally, he nods.

“So when it comes to protecting the people you care about, you can pull the trigger.”

I swallow. “Yes.”

I think?

“I’m ready. I’ll handle this just fine.”

He faces me, his gaze so intense I can’t look away. My mouth goes dry, and I lick my lips. He’s got something to say.

“Come here.”

Of course he gives me an order. I refrain from rolling my eyes.

“Yeah?” I walk to within a pace of him. He reaches one large hand around my lower back and drags me closer to him, then tips one finger under my chin.

“Violet, I…” his voice trails off. Is that fear in his eyes? I’d have sworn a few weeks ago there was nothing Cain feared, but I know now that’s untrue. He fears the people he loves getting hurt. He fears letting people down. He fears my being in trouble and not having the ability to help me.

And now… he’s afraid I’ll leave him.

“Cain, I—” I’m not even sure what I’m going to say. “Can you…” His mouth slams on mine, and I moan into it. The frissons of awareness that light my body ignite, and I respond without thinking. My hands on his neck, his hands on my ass, I reach for his belt to anchor myself.

Too soon, we break our kiss. His forehead meets mine, and his voice drops. “I love you, Violet.” He breathes a sigh as if relieved when he finally says it. “God, woman, I love you. And I don’t want anything to come between us. Not now, not ever.”

He loves me. He loves me.

My throat gets tight and my nose tingles. I feel hot and cold and light and heavy all at once. I want to cry, long and loud and ugly, and I don’t know why.

“You love me?” I ask, and he smiles that crooked smile. “I know, I know, that’s not what a girl should say after a profession of love.”

“You’re not just any girl.”

And that’s why I love him.

“I love you, Cain.” I’ve never told anyone I loved them before. No one, not anyone in my entire life. I wish it felt better than it does, but for some reason, it makes me ache inside.

Loving someone makes you vulnerable. So fucking vulnerable. And I don’t like that.

He holds me to him, his fingers tangled in my hair as if to keep me here.

“Why are you shaking?”

“I don’t like the way it makes me feel and I wish I did. If I’m honest… and I always want to be honest with you… it scares me.”

“I know, baby. Me, too.”

He holds me in silence for a moment, and I can’t help but give thanks that he gets that this is hard for me. I love that he doesn’t question me, or act defensive, or make me feel like shit for admitting that loving him scares the living shit out of me. Cain has too much integrity to act like a pussy when we face hard things. It’s one thing I love about him.

“Violet… what does that mean for you?”

I never expected a question like this.

“To love someone?”

“Yes. Tell me, Violet. Tell me what it means to you.”

“It means… accepting someone no matter what. It means loving them for who they are. It means… it means working through everything that’s difficult and threatens to tear you apart, because if you love someone, you make it fucking work. It means helping the other person become the person they were meant to be.”

“Yes, baby.” He kisses my cheek. “All of that.”

He releases me with reluctance, concern in his eyes. “Violet, I—” He pauses.

“Yeah?”

His phone rings. Henri.

“We’ve got intel, sir. Serious. You on your way?”

“On our way.”

He hangs up the phone and nods.

“Cain,” I say in a little voice. “We need to bring something with us.” I reach for my mother’s diary. He holds my hand and at first doesn’t respond. Then he takes it in his free hand. My heart pounds harder knowing that my two worlds have somehow strangely collided.

“No matter what, Violet. No matter what happens, trust me. And remember what you just said.”

I can’t help the feeling of foreboding that builds in my belly.