Order (Tattoos and Ties 2)
“Why shouldn’t you want ’em? You’re a good dude, man. Five years ain’t that long. You know you’ll have your place back when you’re ready. We’ll get you through this. I’ll make sure of that.” Dev’s voice was strong, determined, and the exact opposite of the way Keyes saw things.
Keyes closed his eyes, letting the worry hang heavy on his shoulders. “I shouldn’t’ve gone over there.”
“Nah, I should’ve gone with you. You fuckin’ saved the goddamn club—no tellin’ what your old man told that piece of shit. He’d screwed us all sideways. You’re a hero, man,” Dev assured.
“Key.” He looked up to see Alec standing two feet in front of him.
“Is that your guy?”
Keyes didn’t respond. He stared at Alec who looked so hurt and lost, and every bit as confused as he was.
“Let him comfort you, man. I’ll talk to my old man, give him the heads-up. I told him about Cummings—don’t be pissed. He’s the one who said you saved our fuckin’ asses. Go talk to him; get a fuckin’ blow job—that’ll make everything a little easier to take. I’ll handle the rest.”
The phone went dead, but he was slower to lower his arm. Alec looked so pretty standing there, bundled in his long coat. Keyes was tired of seeing the constant worry in Alec’s eyes. He was such a good dude. He didn’t deserve all this bullshit either. Keyes had fucked up his own life, but he’d also screwed up Alec’s life. For better or worse, they were in this shit together. Who would have fucking known this was how everything would all play out?
“I’m sorry…”
“No,” Keyes interrupted, shaking his head. “No. I can’t listen to you take responsibility for another goddamn thing I’ve done.”
“Then come inside. It’s freezing out here. Whatever you’re thinking, we’ll work it out together,” Alec pleaded, the hurt in his eyes bordered on despair.
Keyes was tired of that too. He was always hurting Alec, causing him anger and confusion. He had to figure that shit out too. “There’s no workin’ this out together. There’s never an us workin’ it out together. It’s always you workin’ everything out, then takin’ the blame when shit doesn’t go right. This is on me, and I’m unemployed. I got nothin’. That club’s all I got. It’s everything, all the backup I have, and it’s gone.”
“That’s not true, Key. You’ve got me.” When every other person in the world backed away from Keyes’s anger, Alec didn’t. He took the steps separating them, coming straight toward Keyes.
“My choice is to either to risk prison or be a fuckin’ jobless loser. Who’s gonna hire me? How long are you gonna wanna be with a loser, Alec?” He knew the answer even if Alec pretended not to. He’d have a better damn chance to have Alec waiting on him for after prison than to watch Alec slowly fall out of love because he was nothing. He was always nothing. Every situation in his life brought him right back to zero.
Alec’s palms trapped his face. Keyes tried to step away, not wanting the comfort this fine man wanted to give, but like normal, Alec held firm. “You so regularly undervalue yourself it’s frustrating. You have value, Key. This isn’t a door slamming shut on your life. This is an opening. You can literally do anything you’ve ever wanted to do.”
Keyes stared at Alec as if he’d lost his mind, because clearly, he had. What the hell did that even mean? He couldn’t do anything more than stay transfixed by Alec’s simple hold of his face and stare at this crazy man. When Alec dropped his hands, it freed him to move. He shook his head and stepped away, pacing the length of the cabana again.
“You’re a certified mechanic, Key. You work on Harley Davidsons. You refurbished an old bike—do you have any idea what I’ve spent on rebuilding old cars? Start a business. Hell, I’ll be your partner. I’ve run in the circles of men with money who have a thing for anything with a motor. You do the repairs, and I’ll bring you the bikes,” Alec explained matter-of-factly, and Keyes wheeled around, standing at least ten paces away from that frustrating man.
“You don’t fuckin’ get it, Alec. You’re gonna get sick of me. It’s gonna happen.”
Alec’s face dropped, and he stepped forward while Keyes backed away, keeping him at a distance. Alec had to stop the bullshit and listen for once in their relationship.
“That’s what all this is about?” Alec said, following him as he continued talking and Keyes kept moving away. Finally, Keyes held his hand up to keep Alec at a distance. “Key, that’s my fear with you. At some point, you’re going to open your eyes and see I keep wrecking your life. I’m the reason you’re in this mess to begin with. It’s me being me, trying to control everything, analyzing all my steps, and ultimately, failing at protecting what matters the most in the world.”