Closet Confession

“Right. That’s why you remembered me. I’ll keep checking in. I’m hearing good things about you. Life’s just real different out here. More open. It can get overwhelming.”

Justin had no idea what to say to that. The military had prepared him for this when he’d refused another tour. Admittedly, leaving the military hadn’t been his first choice. He loved the armed forces, loved the lifestyle and the travel. His life plan had been to make a career out of the military, but his partner didn’t like the way they were forced to live and Justin wasn’t the kind of guy to buck the system. Besides, he didn’t like being away from his partner for those long months either. He never felt right living his life the way he had. Don’t ask, Don’t tell was still the best approach for some, even if the law had changed—attitude certainly had not. So he made an informed decision and went back to living life as a civilian.

“I’m adapting.” All things considered, he thought he was doing pretty okay.

“Cool. I’ll be in touch.” Jack slapped his upper arm and pivoted on his feet. He never looked back as Justin watched him leave. The exchange had been kind of unexpected and, the more he thought about it, had come out of nowhere. He’d been there for weeks now—that kind of worried him. He must need to work harder at hiding the stress.

He turned back to the sink, a little confused, and stared at his reflection in the mirror, trying to see what might have given him away. To him, he looked like he always did. He had even trimmed his already short, close-cropped hair today. Maybe he should stop that. Let his hair grow out. That would be another mind-set change, something else to get used to. Besides his super-short hair, he didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. He thought he even fit in to everyday life except he had a sternness to him. Looking in the mirror, he made an effort to relax his facial features. That made him laugh. A forced relaxed face just made him look dumb.

As a pep talk, he reminded himself, he was a master at hiding. He’d hid his entire life and he’d get comfortable soon enough. It wasn’t just work, but every part of his life that required a change in mind-set. He’d get used to things eventually, he had to. There was more than just him to consider. His partner had given up so much to be with him. Surely he’d give him a little more time to adapt to the private sector.

Besides, he did have some solids going for him. Justin was emotionally comfortable with his sexual orientation, regardless of the tension building between him and his partner. His recent reservations had nothing to do with his sex life and everything to do with the feelings of inadequacy he’d also carried around for most of his life. Hopefully time would heal some of that, and if not, then he’d deal with that when the time came. He’d learned a long time ago not to bring on worries before he needed to.

Shoving open the locker room door, he squared his broad shoulders and went back to the rat race, leaving those troubled thoughts behind.

Chapter 2

Hours passed before the emergency room slowed to a manageable pace. Derek dropped down in an abandoned chair in the back of the nurses’ station and dug his thumb and forefinger into his eyes. The non-stop frantic tempo he’d walked into on this shift had started to abate. He stifled a yawn as he rolled his shoulders and looked up at the big wall clock. It was four fifteen in the morning. Way past the time things should have slowed down for the hospital on a Wednesday night.

“Dr. Baby,” came a quiet whisper. Derek looked around at the empty station and then did a full circle in the chair, still not seeing anyone. He rose and walked in the general direction of the voice. He slowly peeked around the corner and found Amanda, Kristina, and Kylie, three of the nightshift nurses, standing together, all staring intently at something.

“Did you call me?” he asked.

“Shhhh,” they said in unison, waving their hands, but never looking back at him.

“He’s hot,” Amanda cooed softly.

“Yeah, he is,” Kristina affirmed the spoken thought.

“Too bad he’s taken,” Kylie offered and Derek wondered if he should wipe the metaphorical drool from her chin.

“Are you sure?” Kristina asked.

“Yeah, or at least that’s what he told Ally.” The collective sigh turned to disappointment. Derek smiled at the back of their heads. These three women were top notch, well-educated, seasoned nurses who were acting like teenage girls watching their crush on television.

“Who are you watching?” Derek whispered and peered around them. His eyes connected with the handsome nurse’s form as he used his brute strength to lift an incoming patient from a wheelchair to a gurney. Okay, he got it now. Damn, that was hot.