Painted On My Heart

Kellus didn’t respond, because he had nothing to say. The numbness in his brain kept the panic at bay. He didn’t take time to dwell on the situation, knowing he’d break down if he did. But how could he explain that to someone as strong as Arik? He pulled out his phone and searched through the contacts for his insurance agent. Luckily, his business insurance and homeowners were with the same company.

“Please don’t ignore me.”

Kellus looked over at Arik as he pushed send to connect the call.

“I’m absolutely not ignoring you. You’re right.”

“Then can you show some sort of emotion? Aren’t you angry?” The words came out more as an accusation, causing Kellus to cut his gaze back to Arik. His guy took a deep breath and closed his eyes before he said, “I’m sorry…but I’m mad as hell. I wanted to kill the man.”

“I know you do,” Kellus replied, lifting a finger when someone answered the phone. Arik nodded, then stepped away. Kellus went through the process of reporting the crime. Whatever weather was heading their way had his agent anxious to start the process of assessing the damage. When he hung up with the agent, he called the detective involved with his case. They were both able to meet with him in the next hour. As he ended the call, he looked around to find Arik gone.

He searched until he located Arik in the master bedroom, standing in front of his open closet door. “It looks pretty full to me,” Arik said, hurt strangling his voice as he extended a hand toward the clothes hanging in his closet.

“What are you doing?” Kellus asked. Out of everything going on today, he couldn’t handle all the attitude Arik was suddenly throwing his way.

“I’m trying to understand what you’re doing here, Kellus.”

“Today’s no different than yesterday—” Kellus started, but Arik cut him off.

“It’s completely different. Yesterday, I was moving you into my house, thinking you were practically already there. Today, I’m seeing a completely different side. You’re still into him,” Arik declared incredulously.

“No! Not like that. I’m not into him.” Kellus sneered, giving Arik some of his ridiculous anger back. Where was this even coming from? Kellus walked fully inside the bedroom, looking in the closet to see what Arik could have found to cause this outburst.

“You could barely introduce me to your parents.”

That had Kellus’s attention homing in on Arik, whirling around, moving into the man’s personal space. “Because boyfriend seemed too small of a word to describe you. Why are you starting a fight right now?”

“I’m not starting a fight. I’m trying to understand.” Arik’s tone went from irritation to concern with those few words.

“It feels like you’re starting a fight, so understand this: I don’t have any romantic feelings for John. That was over a long time ago. And honestly, if you’re requiring me to say it out loud, even at its best, it was never as good as what you and I share. I can’t help but feel guilty in some way because I knew he was spinning out of control and I didn’t do anything about it. I also feel guilty because I have a chance to move on. Did you not hear what they said at the hospital? He has a severe head injury. He’s a hard-core addict. I don’t have to be a neurologist to understand he’s not coming back from this; his health is too bad. It’ll be a miracle if he survives the week. He’s got nothing to live for while I have everything.”

Arik stared at him long and hard, the tic in his strong jaw working double time. Kellus watched his features physically soften, never breaking the eye contact as he stepped toward him, placing his palms on the sides of his face. “I’m sorry. I’m very protective over you. It’s new to me. I don’t know how to process all this.”

“Neither do I. I can’t even let myself consider what he’s done. I was already behind, and now I’m at least a month behind that, with nowhere to even work.”

“I’ll take care of that.”

“No, Arik. I don’t need that right now. I’m not doing this with you.” He broke free of the hold, shaking his head as he went for the bedroom door. Out of everything else, he couldn’t take Arik trying to throw more cash his way. “If there’s something in there that you think I should have at your house, grab it. I promise it was just an oversight. Everything of importance is already there.”

The blessed numbness from before was wearing off, leaving behind the trail of destruction he was certain he couldn’t get past. Instead of dwelling on things he couldn’t control, or even waiting for Arik to come to terms with what they had coming their way, Kellus went for the studio. He had to make an inventory of what had been destroyed and prioritize what needed to be rebuilt first. He was already so far behind from all the time he’d spent with Arik instead of getting his commissions completed like he was supposed to. He rolled his shoulders, then his neck as he slammed the outside back door closed in his wake, ignoring the sounds of the awning finally coming loose from the house and hitting the ground with a loud thump behind him.