Painted On My Heart

Arik rolled down his window and called out to him to get his attention, then he turned off the car and tossed his keys Kellus’s way.

“You’ll need them to open the door.” Kellus gave him a smile and caught the keys midair. A bolt of lightning crashed nearby, followed by a loud crack of thunder. The way his day was going, he took it as a good sign that the lightning hadn’t struck either of them.

~?~

Kellus stood in the center of both families, listening to the first real briefing they’d had on John’s condition. They’d managed to stabilize him, although he was in very critical condition. Outside of the swelling in his brain and other injuries he’d been told about, they had John in a drug-induced coma. That meant they’d have him on a breathing machine, and they’d keep him in ICU. No matter how many different ways they were asked, the medical professionals refused to answer any questions about the long-term prognosis, only going as far as saying the next twenty-four hours would be touch and go. His mother and father had been the first to be taken back to his room.

The small circle dispersed, no one really saying a single word. Although the doctor had remained somewhat positive in his words, his tone said something far graver. Now they were in wait-and-see mode, the worst possible place as far as Kellus was concerned.

He’d taken the seat next to Arik who had respectfully stayed out of the briefing. Kellus dropped his head in his hands and stared at the tile floor. Flashes of his childhood played across his tired mind. He hadn’t done this for a while: remembered John as the boy and man he once knew. Images of his bright smile and handsome, captivating face replayed as he closed his eyes. John hadn’t been that guy in years. Worse yet, the guilt of his part in this was truly beginning to weigh heavily on his shoulders. Arik’s soothing palm rested on his back, comforting him and pulling him from his thoughts. He cocked his head to glance over at the precious man he’d been so lucky to find and gave him a small, sad smile.

“It doesn’t sound good, does it?”

“He’s young. He’s got that on his side,” Arik said reassuringly.

If they were anywhere but the ICU waiting room, he’d have dropped to his knees to show Arik how much those words meant to him. Arik was struggling with his hatred toward John, but he pushed that aside to say the words Kellus desperately wanted to hear.

“I’d rather have him stealing my stuff, sending me those hateful messages, than to ever have him here.”

Arik wrapped an arm around his back, pulled them together as he kissed his hair and whispered in his ear. “That’s crazy talk, but I wish he wasn’t here for your sake too.”

“Kellus Hardin,” a nurse said from the double doors leading into the ward. He stood, then walked over to her. “We only have a very small window for visitation. Mrs. Nickerson thought you might want to see him.”

“I would, yes.” He looked back at Arik and pointed a finger toward the double doors, then he followed her to the last room on the hall. Lisa sat on the side of the bed, crying. Casey stood at the end of the bed. Only then did he venture a look at John. The beeps and hisses of the machines monitoring John’s heart rate and breathing for him were the only sounds that filled the otherwise silent room. His heart pounding in his chest helped drown the unsettling sounds of the equipment as he slowly walked across the room and stood at the side of John’s bed.

Looking at the battered man this morning in the police picture had been hard, but seeing John now was so much harder. His face was swollen, discolored, and completely unrecognizable. The splints on his arms and leg had his body resting at an awkward angle, but it was the blood-soaked gauze wrapped around the side of his head that concerned Kellus the most.

“It’s okay, Kellus. I know he would want you here. We added you to the approved list to obtain information—you’ve always been his family.”

“I don’t want to intrude on your time.”

He watched Lisa dry her eyes and kiss John’s hand. She stood and walked toward the door, looking back at her husband.

“We need to give them a minute. John would want that.”

Casey looked older than he had that morning as he nodded and moved to kiss John on the forehead, then left the room behind his wife. Kellus was alone, staring at a person he no longer knew. How had they come to this? How had life taken such an ugly turn?

He reached out to stroke John’s shoulder and let out a pent-up breath to steady his shaking hand, afraid his unsteady hand might hurt him even more. Carefully, he let his fingertips slide down John’s arm. He touched the top of John’s hand, then worked his fingers against the cast to hold his hand. Even the old, what should have been a familiar, handhold felt foreign now. The knots in Kellus’s stomach threatened to bring up the small lunch Arik had insisted he eat as he took in the amount of damage covering John’s body.