Quadruple Duty: All or Nothing

The dark blur of trees rose up on either side of me, only for some reason I knew they weren’t trees. They were people. When I turned to look at them they disappeared, one by one, until none remained. Dozens, maybe hundreds of them just faded away, until I was crashing through a cloud of shimmering white nothingness.

For some reason, I wasn’t afraid. The world spun by, faster and faster, as a sense of peace and calm stole over me. And then, suddenly, I was at the bottom. I stood stock still, utterly motionless, without even a sense of slowing down.

When I looked around… there was nothing there at all.

I was still dazed as I made my way into the kitchen, legs shaking. Normally when we slept in the living room I woke up in the arms of one or more lovers. Today I was alone, although the salty, savory smell of bacon wafted in from the kitchen to join me.

“Morning!”

Kyle raised his coffee mug in salute. His smile wasn’t as bright as usual.

“Eggs?”

I sat and nodded as Ryan scraped the rest of the eggs onto my plate. He added the remainder of the bacon too.

“What about Dakota?” I asked. “He ate already?”

Kyle and Ryan looked at each other. I knew right away.

“They came for him last night,” said Kyle. “Whatever it was couldn’t wait.”

I shoved back from the table angrily. “Why didn’t you wake me!”

“I’m sorry Sammara, it was quick. He practically flew out the door. Besides, you were sleeping so peacefully, and—”

“You should’ve woken me up!”

Kyle’s eyes dropped, something that only happened when he felt he was wrong. Suddenly I had no appetite. I didn’t want anything, not even coffee.

“Where’d they take him?”

“No clue,” Ryan said. “They wouldn’t tell us.”

“And that’s the truth,” Kyle added.

My heart was already beating so hard it felt like it might come out of my chest. I didn’t mind him leaving, I’d just wanted to say goodbye! Yet I knew from the start it was all part of the job, part of the process of being in this kind of relationship. Especially when it came to Rangers. Ranger Specialists, like Dakota.

“If it means anything, I don’t think it’ll be long,” said Ryan. “With something this urgent? It never is.”

I didn’t care. Or at least, I didn’t want to hear it.

Pushing the plate away, I got up and left the kitchen. It took only a minute to get dressed. Another minute to lace on a pair of sneakers, and tie my hair back in a ponytail.

Then I was outside, running. Down the driveway, down the block. Turning onto the next street and racing up that one too.

First Jason. Now Dakota…

It was something I did often, to clear my head. Running was something I could use to get my mind straight, whenever it began wandering to dark or dangerous places.

You have to tell them.

It was a subject I’d been dreading, and putting off. One I’d pushed so far to the side that I hadn’t even thought much about it myself… although it was still there in the distance, still nagging me.

They deserve to know.

I crested the next hill and raced down it. Faster and faster I sprinted, running until everything — every lamppost and stop sign and fire hydrants — just sort of faded away. It reminded me sharply of my dream. A feeling of coldness stole over me, even though I knew I was sweating.