Artemis
“I can make a profit by selling these kits for three thousand slugs each.”
“Condoms only cost fifty slugs. Why would anyone buy this?”
He grinned. “It’s reusable!”
I blinked. “Are you shitting me?”
“Not at all! It’s made of a thin but durable material. Good for hundreds of uses.” He pointed to the rounded metal part of the device. “After each use, you turn the condom inside-out and put it on this cylinder—”
“Ew.”
“Then you turn on the cleaner. Ther
e’s a liquid cleanse cycle and then a high temperature bake for ten minutes. After that it’s sterile and ready to use again—”
“Oh God, no.”
“You should probably rinse it off first—”
“Stop!” I said. “Why would anyone want something like this?”
“Because it saves money in the long run, and it’s less prone to failure than a normal condom.”
I gave him my most dubious glare.
“Do the math,” he said. “Normal condoms cost way too much. No one manufactures them locally—there’s no raw materials to make latex. But my product will last through two hundred uses, minimum. That’s ten thousand slugs of savings.”
“Huh…” Now he was speaking my language. “Okay, maybe it’s not so crazy after all. But I don’t have money to invest right now….”
“Oh, I’m not looking for investors. I need someone to test it.”
“And you think I’ve got the dick for the job?”
He rolled his eyes. “I need to know how it feels for the woman.”
“I’m not having sex with you.”
“No, no!” He winced. “I just want you to use it the next time you have sex. Then tell me how it affected your experience.”
“Why don’t you bang a girl and ask her yourself?”
He looked at his shoes. “I don’t have a girlfriend and I’m terrible with women.”
“There are brothels all over Aldrin! High-end, low-end, whatever you want.”
“That’s no good.” He crossed his arms. “I need data from a woman who is having sex for fun. The woman has to be sexually experienced, which you definitely are—”
“Careful…”
“And likely to have sex in the near future. Which, again—”
“Choose your next words wisely.”
He paused. “Anyway. You see what I’m after.”
I groaned. “Can’t I just pay you two thousand slugs?”
“I don’t need money. I need testing.”