Surviving Valencia

Obvious, even.

I got up, ready to walk back to her house to tell her the news, that I would take care of her all year long, that nothing had to change. But then I sat back down. I spun in crooked circles, kicking at the worn patch of grass beneath the swing, frustrated and confused.

Could I really take care of her instead of going to school? I wondered how it would be as summer turned to fall and fall turned to winter. Would Grandma Betty and I still have fun when we couldn’t eat lunch on the breezeway? Would I be able to drive the Buick on slippery, snow covered roads?

I took my little notebook from my purse and made a list of pros and cons.

Pros:

Grandma Betty is nice

Grandma Betty pays you. She will now pay $20/hour. That is probably more than most grown ups make.

You get to drive a car

I’m going to say that again: You Get To Drive A Car!

You love that car

You forgot your Carmex in the ashtray

You get to eat good food at Grandma Betty’s

Grandma Betty makes you nice stuff:

Blankets

Scarves

Hats

Mittens

Sweaters

Maybe socks?

You would now get to pick the colors!

You get to watch Days of our Lives

Grandma Betty lets you drink coffee

Grandma Betty’s house is cute

Grandma Betty is your best friend!

Grandma Betty likes you!

Can you imagine how great it would be to never see any of those bitches from school again??

No homework at Grandma Betty’s!

Cons:

It is probably illegal to skip school. But you are too young to go to jail, so if anyone went to jail, it would be Mom and Dad. So this is kind of a ‘Pro.’

You might get stupid if you stopped going to school. Then again, maybe you would get smarter, considering how lame school is. So this is kind of a ‘Pro’ too.