Windmera-Desperation
His voice was harsh. “Come in and close the door tightly at your back, girl!”
Heather obeyed meekly. What else could she do? She had sunk their household into shame. How this Abernathy woman found out she could not tell, but somehow she had.
He eyed her, his expression accusing, his lips forming a sneer. “Is it true?”
That was all he asked. He knew that she knew what he was asking. She could lie. She perhaps should lie.
She wondered why he bothered to ask, for he obviously believed what he had been told. She put up her chin and said, “Yes, it is.” She was surprised at the calm she felt.
He sat back. “Faith preserve me,” he breathed on a hushed note. “I have nurtured a creature of Satan!”
“No, you have not nurtured a creature of Satan, for you have not nurtured anyone,” Heather snapped back. “You have scarcely spoken more than a word now and then to me since I arrived.”
“Quiet!” he snapped, and his fist pounded his desk, making her jump. “You stand before me, boldly admitting the foulest behavior without blushing, without shading your eyes from mine?”
“No, Uncle, I do not admit to behavior most foul,” she answered gravely. She had no idea where she found the strength to face him down.
“Of your own free will you have just confessed…”
She cut him off, “You asked me if it were true. I assumed you meant is it true that I, Heather Martin, love Godwin of Ravensbury. Yes, that is true and I cannot admit it to be foul!”
“You play with words? You stand here feeling no shame and…” He appeared, in that moment, to be overcome as he pounded the table again with his fist. “You have participated in clandestine meetings with his lordship, and yet claim you have done nothing evil? Your actions are only surpassed in wickedness by your attitude.”
“I am not playing with words or trying to win an argument, sir. You asked me how it was I did not blush, did not hide my eyes by looking at you directly when I answered. You call my lack of shame wickedness…but I cannot call it wicked that I love Godwin. Nay, I am proud of it.”
How could she make him understand what Godwin had gone through since he discovered Sara had married him on a pretext? She could not without giving away a confidence, and besides, her uncle still would not understand. Her uncle obviously thought Godwin a libertine and she a wicked woman.
“You find nothing shameful in engaging in unlawful fornication with a man who is wedded to another? It is adultery!” He frowned after a pause, and added, “I can see his lordship has taken advantage of you…and still, your upbringing should have…”
She cut him off, furious that he should criticize her beloved. “Nay…he took no unfair advantage.”
“Ah, you are blinded,” he said grimly.
She did not answer. What was the use?
He added, “Aha, finally, I have succeeded in making you see!”
“No, I don’t see at all,” she said, and not cowered, she put up her chin. “We will never agree on this point.”
Her retort, her unwavering attitude burned through him. “By my faith!” he shouted. “Ravensbury is a married man. Does that not mean anything to you?”
“Yes, had she been a good woman and he happily married I would cut out my heart before I would allow myself to come between them. That is not the case. You speak from your pulpit of evil. Why would God have put me in Godwin’s path if he had not meant for us to meet, to love?” Did she believe those words? She wasn’t sure.
“To test you…as God tests us all the time, and you have failed,” he snapped.
“God is good and you are wrong!” she shouted.
“You are mad and I have heard enough!” He stood, and she thought for a moment he was going to slap her. He fisted his hands at his sides. “I had hoped to bring you to your senses before sending you away. I see that it is impossible, which only strengthens my resolve that I am right in my decision.”
His words struck her a blow and she chided herself. What did she think he would do? Why hadn’t she foreseen this would be his solution? He had never wanted her at the vicarage and this gave him good cause to get rid of her.
She thought he would try and extract a promise from her to stop seeing Godwin. She had been ready for that, even meant to give it, knowing that soon she and Godwin would be together.
She gasped. “You cannot mean it?”
“Indeed, you leave me no choice. I am told that it is Lady Ravensbury’s wish that I send you elsewhere, and without her patronage, there would be no vicarage,” he said, and sat down heavily in his chair.
“But…Uncle?” she said.