Here Comes the Rainne Again (Invertary 6)

“No!” There was a chorus of protests as the women rushed out of the bathroom armed with water-filled condoms.

“How are we supposed to water-bomb them if the windows are blocked?” Kirsty’s mother demanded.

“You’re not,” Joe said, and a water balloon hit him squarely in the middle of his chest.

Margaret covered her mouth with her hands. “Sorry,” she said through them. “Reflex reaction.”

Joe looked down at his soaked Henley and asked himself if that really just happened.

“Ooh, I just had a thought,” Jena said. “We should be filming this.” She dug around in her handbag and came out with her phone. She pointed the camera at him. “Do that again, Margaret. I’ll get it this time.”

Joe stared at Jena before turning his attention back to Margaret.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “I won’t do it again.”

“I need help with this guy’s legs,” Megan called from the bed. “He weighs a tonne.”

“I’ll help,” shouted several women at once, and they all raced to the bed.

Joe almost felt sorry for the guy.

“Where are we taking him?” Shona said as they heaved the guy off the bed.

Joe watched his captive’s shoulders shake and knew he was laughing. He also wasn’t struggling. The guy wasn’t even trying to escape or help his buddies outside. There was something seriously wrong about this whole situation.

“We’re taking him into the bathroom,” Megan said. “I’m going to tie him up in the bath. That way when we need to pee, we pull the shower curtain shut for privacy.”

“Good thinking,” her mother told her.

They hauled the man into the bathroom, forcing Julia to come back into the bedroom, where she lurked beside the wardrobe and tried to blend with the wood. Jena tottered after the women, filming them as they carried the guy out of the room.

“Why aren’t you more worried about this whole siege thing?” Shona asked Jena. “You seem really relaxed.”

Jena shrugged. “I have to get rescued a lot. I’m used to it. Plus it wasn’t that long ago I was abducted and held at gunpoint by my ex. This seems kind of tame in comparison.”

“Will you stop talking about being abducted?” Joe frowned at Jena. “You were never in any danger. We wouldn’t have allowed it. In fact, we got you out of there at the first sign of trouble. It wasn’t a real kidnapping. It was an unscheduled meeting.”

“Says the guy who abducted me,” Jena said to Shona.

Joe let out a growl before turning his attention to Ryan. “Help me lift the bed in front of the door. Then we’ll shut the windows; lock them and block them too.”

“At least wait with the windows until we’ve run out of balloons,” Jean pleaded.

Joe counted their stash. The women had less than a dozen water-filled condoms between them. He eyed the windows. No one was firing back at the women. Yeah, he knew it was crazy, but he couldn’t think of a reason not to let them finish.

“Fine,” Joe said. “Have at it.”

The women who’d helped carry the captive into the bathroom came rushing back into the room, eager to lob more balloons.

“What exactly is their plan here?” Ryan said as he watched the women lob water balloons at the guys with guns. “At best, they’re just going to piss those guys off by soaking them.”

“I think they’re hoping they’ll fall over and die of hypothermia,” Joe said.

“Do any of them know how long it takes to die of hypothermia?”

“I don’t think they care,” Joe said.

“You know,” Ryan said, “when I was with the army, I never imagined this was how my life would turn out.”