Rock Revenge: Alex's Story

“Yeah? Well, Pete, he killed my brother too. Remember that.”

“It was an accident. Sure, he did a stupid thing but everyone does stupid things when they’re young. If he’d made it home in one piece, if the car hadn’t gone over that bank, you’d still be trailing Alex around like a gooey-eyed kid.”

I had a million answers to that but Pete had left. I could see him chatting to Alex in the break room so I took my time packing up my gear, hoping Alex would go into the other rehearsal room and I could escape without having to talk to him. I’d done the right thing and thanked him for his help but that was as far as it’d go.

It wasn’t going to be that easy, though. Alex lingered. I ran into the toilet and waited for the voices to shut up. When I heard Alex tuning his guitar, I figured the coast was clear.

When I came out, there was a small bag sitting on top of my guitar case. I had no idea where it came from. It wasn’t mine. I picked it up and looked inside.

Jelly beans. I put my finger in and mixed them around. All the black ones had been removed. That sickly sweet smell took me back.

Alex turning up for rehearsal in our garage, throwing something at me.

“This is for you, Dee Cakes,” he’d said.

I opened the bag — jellybeans — and gave him a huge smile, tempted to throw my arms around his neck. But then, I was always tempted to do that.

“I ate the black ones,” he said. “Cos I know you hate them.”

Of course I did. Black jelly beans are gross.

I didn’t eat them. I kept them, arranged in colour-ordered rows on my desk. I arranged them into a big heart, then spelt out “Alex” in yellow and blue. About three days later, I had a massive ant plague in my room. My jellybeans were ruined and Mum yelled at me for keeping them on my desk. I cried. I’d wanted to keep those jellybeans forever.

I don’t know if Jake said anything to Alex or if he just thought of it himself, but every time he came over to rehearse after that, he’d make sure he had a bag of jelly beans for me. Always with the black ones taken out.

As much as I hated black jelly beans, I figured if Alex had eaten them, I could grow to love the taste of black jelly bean kisses.

Well, I wasn’t a kid anymore. There was a rubbish bin in the corner, overflowing with Coke cans and pizza boxes. I took aim, determined to prove I couldn’t be won over with a lousy packet of candy, but I couldn’t do it. My arm wouldn’t obey the instructions from my brain.

What did it matter anyway? I put them in my jacket pocket and left.

Alex

The nightmares had started again. I’d thought that time was long past but I’d woken up in a cold sweat, not sure where I was. I groped around for the light switch and got out of bed. Even awake, the terror clung to the edges, making me feel uneasy. I jumped in the shower, trying to wash off the black thoughts, and then grabbed a beer out of the fridge and thought about watching a movie.

I couldn’t settle, though. Every movie bored me. I went out to the balcony. It was pitch black outside. Lights glowed around the city. The last revellers wandered the streets. Too early to go out for coffee, too late to go for drinks. A good time for songwriting. I might as well put this nervous energy to use.

I’d left my notebook at the rehearsal studio so I decided to walk down there to get it. Better to be moving anyway. The air was a bit chilly but a brisk walk would fix that. That cafe might be open on my way back and I’d grab a coffee then.

I hadn’t seen Dee for a few days. She’d not come into the bar and she must’ve organised their rehearsal time so we didn’t overlap. Not that I was looking for her or anything. I just wondered how she was getting on. They’d be playing at the club soon and I couldn’t wait to see them back on stage.

I’d had an argument with Sally. She didn’t want to clear the roster to put Dee’s band on.

“I’ve set everything up for these bands to play. You can’t just wipe that out because you have a thing for some girl.”

“I can and I will. Don’t forget who pays your salary.”

I glared at her until she backed down. She snorted at me though and flounced back to her office. It was the first time she’d ever acted anything but lovey-dovey with me.