Matched

It's all bullshit.

As to perfect matches, there's no such thing as perfection. If you hold out hope of meeting the perfect woman, you'll be sadly disappointed. People settle. That's it. They fuck around until they get lonely or bored and decide they want to play house. They look around at what's available and pick one.

That's all.

People who use the dating apps?

They're at that stage of wanting to settle. The app merely finds them someone at the time. In a decade, maybe even in five years, they'll be different people, and they’ll stick with their partner out of guilt or because it's easier than getting a divorce.

That's not the future I want for myself.

I submit the questionnaire and put it out of my mind.

The trip goes well. We fly on Virgin Atlantic, first class to Washington. We both keep to ourselves the entire flight. I'm busy reading financial reports. Beside me, India goes over the presentation. By the time the plane lands, it's after eight and we've barely said a dozen words to each other, each of us lost in our own preparations for the morning meeting.

On the drive to the hotel, we’re both on our cells, reading messages and responding to texts. We arrive at the hotel and I check in for the both of us, handing India her key before we take the elevator up to the floor.

Since we ate on the plane, I say goodnight to her after I help her with her suitcase, closing the door behind me and flicking on the light to my room. I lie on the bed, knowing that India's in the room directly beside me.

I flick on the television and watch the sports network for a while, but after about an hour, I think of India and what Marina said, about her being so lonely and lying in her bed all alone and feel like talking to her all of a sudden.

JON: Are you still awake? I can't sleep. I'm always hyped up before a big presentation.

After a moment, she replies.

INDIA: I always have trouble sleeping the night before, too.

JON: It's late but do you feel like going for a walk?

There's a pause.

INDIA: No. I really need to just shut off the light and go to sleep. I'll probably just be tired. If I went for a walk now, I'd really be awake. But thanks anyway.

JON: Okay. I think I'll go for a quick run. I need to exhaust myself physically if I'm going to sleep. See you in the morning.

INDIA: Good night.

I put my cell away and do exactly what I said – I go for a run down the street where the hotel is located, needing to burn off some excess energy before I'll be able to sleep. The night before a big meeting is often stressful, even though I'm sure India will do a magnificent job. I need to completely exhaust myself, and my little bout of self-abuse earlier in the day wouldn't be enough.

So I run. I run in the dark, the only sounds accompanying me the distant sound of the freeway and the noise of my breathing and my feet beating the pavement. After about twenty minutes, I stop near a bus shelter and sit on the bench, catching my breath while I adjust my running shoe laces, which have come undone. I check my watch and decide I've done enough for the night, so I run back to the hotel, taking the same route.

I glance up at the hotel and run my eyes up the side, mentally counting off the floors so I can find our floor and our rooms. I figure out which room is mine and which is India's and am surprised to see her curtains open and her figure silhouetted in the window. The drapes have been opened and she appears to be staring out at the city around the hotel.

She looks lonely.

My watch reads fifteen past eleven and she can't sleep either. Why she refused to go on a walk with me, I don't understand. We used to run together back in the day. She said it helped her sleep, so I can't figure out why she wouldn't come with me.

That kiss must have really freaked her out.

That's not a good thing. The last thing I need is for there to be any tension between us. I'll have to clear things up as soon as possible if I want our partnership to flourish.

I return to my room and after sitting in front of my television while my sweat dries, I have another quick shower and go to bed. My last thoughts as I lie in the darkness are not about the presentation in the morning, but of India and what Marina told me about her being lonely.

I'm too busy to be lonely, surrounded all day and most of the evening with my team, working on Pacifica. I'm never alone, and neither is India. In fact, she and I are almost always together, working away side by side in meetings and on various parts of the Defense Department project.

How can India be lonely?

Chapter 5