The Hating Game

“What’s she like?”

“Clingy. She really threw herself at me.”

I laugh. “Clingy is not an attractive trait. I hope you kicked her out.”

“I guess I sort of did.”

“That’ll learn her.” I begin to gather my hair into a high bun before smoothing down my dress. It’s a fine cream wool knit, stretchy and warm, and I admit I wore it to match his shirt. He likes prissy librarian Lucy? He’s got it today.

He watches my hands. I watch his. They’re white-knuckled.

“Not sure if I’ll see her again, though.” He sounds bored, and he’s clicking his mouse on his computer. When his eyes cut sideways to mine, I flash to last night and my insides clench.

“Maybe take her to your brother’s wedding? Always gratifying to walk into one of those situations with a hot date.”

We both look at each other, and I ease myself slowly into my chair. The Staring Game has never felt so dirty. The phone rings. I look at the caller ID and the word FUCK lights up in neon in my brain.

Josh takes one look at my face. “If it’s him, I’m going to—”

“It’s Julie.”

“A bit early for her, isn’t it? You’re going to have to be firm with her.” The phone continues ringing, and ringing.

“I’ll let it go to voice mail. I’m too tired to deal with this now.”

“You will not.” He dials star-nine and answers my extension. They teach call center operators to smile when they answer a call. People can hear a smile in your voice. Joshua needs to learn this.

“Lucinda Hutton’s phone. Joshua speaking. Hold.” He hits a button, and points at me with his receiver. “Do it. I’m watching you.”

We both watch the hold light flashing.

I’m still that smiling girl in the strawberry patch. Look at me, I’m a good girl. I’m the sweet little thing, adored by everyone. Nothing is too much trouble.

“I want to see you be as strong with other people as you are with me.”

I press the flashing button. “Hi, Julie, how are you?” My ear nearly burns from her deep sigh.

“Hi, Lucy. I’m not well. I’m incredibly tired. I don’t even know why I came in. I’ve just sat down, and already the screen is killing me.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

I lock eyes with Josh. He intensifies his eyes into narrowed scary blue lasers. He’s imbuing me with his powers. I am NOT going to care what excuses or requests she’s going to make. “What can I do for you today, Julie?” Professional, but a hint of warmth in my tone.

“I’m supposed to be working on this thing for Alan, which he’s going to polish up and send up to you.”

“Oh, yes. I need it by close of business.”

Josh gives me a sarcastic thumbs-up.

“Well, I’m having a bit of trouble finding some of the old reports in the network drive. It keeps saying shortcut moved. Anyway, I’ve tried a bunch of things and I think I need to step away, you know?”

“As long as I get it by five, it’s fine.” Josh looks at the ceiling and shrugs. I thought I was being firm there, but he’s unimpressed.

“I was hoping to go home and get it done first thing tomorrow, when I’m fresher.”

“Didn’t you just get here?” Am I going crazy? I recheck the clock.

“I came in quickly to check my email.” Her tone is that of an absolute trooper.