Unsuitable

“He’s still at Polly’s but they’re on a job, some country estate Pollidore’s are building, he won’t be home till the end of next week. Polly drives to the top of some mountain every night to call me because they’re out of phone coverage range. He’ll wait, Audrey. This is not news for the phone.”

Les was right. And by the time Reece was back, she’d know more, she’

d have a chance to put her pitch to him together.

It’d be the pitch of her life.

She made it through the rest of the week without falling asleep in front of anyone. She was calmer, after her meltdown with Les, though she had no reason to feel that way. All the certainty she’d strived to build around her had turned to cloud and burned away in the bright sunlight of happenstance.

She didn’t know if she was having one baby or two, if she could get Reece’s love back, if he’d want her for family. She didn’t know how Mia would manage siblings, how Barrett would react. How to break this news to Merrill or whether this would deliver the fatal heart attack her father had been courting with his anger issues for years. She didn’t know if Cameron would stay. She didn’t know how best to manage this pregnancy and keep her commitment to work through the absence it would require.

Her boss, Jonathan came back from sabbatical and promptly quit. He was moving to a monastery in Nepal. Her probation in the new role came to an unscheduled end and Chris wanted to see her. He had to get in line, she had an appointment with her gynaecologist the same day.

Doc Ling confirmed what Doc Barber and the internet hinted at. Extreme fatigue was normal for twins and it might not pass. She should expect a very different pregnancy to Mia’s and she might need bed rest prior the birth. They could plan more when they knew for sure after the ultrasound. More complexity, more unknowns should’ve rocked her, but sometime between her argument with Les and approaching date of Reece’s return, she’d changed.

Instead of being weary and worried, eaten up with denial and indecision she was excited. Not jump all over the place, make a noise like Mia, but quietly humming with the thrill and joy of it.

It had started as tiny spot of warmth and light inside the core of her body when she let herself wonder what the new babies might look like, if they’d have Reece’s jade green eyes, if they’d have his nature, what sex they’d be. And it grew, fanned out and flamed inside her as authentic happiness and delight.

She didn’t need to be frightened of this. She was entirely capable of doing this, with or without Reece, and she didn’t let herself think about without.

She would have a family made with her own determination and the DNA of men she’d loved. It was more than she’d thought she could manage at first and it might’ve been purely chemical, a hormonal sleight of hand, but she wanted it, all of it, with every breath she took, and she’d fight for it with every wit she had.

She sat outside Chris’ office waiting for him to call her in. The battle of wits would start here and finish when she had Reece back in her life.

He poked his head out and called her in. “Good to see you.” He waved at his lounge and she took a seat gratefully. He looked tired, greyer around the hairline. “I want you on a special project.”

Not what she’d expected. She’d figured she’d end up with more of Jonathon’s responsibilities on a permanent basis. Chris outlined the project, a partnership with the Chinese Government. She’d need to be in Shanghai for weeks at a time.

Sixteen weeks ago she’d have given blood to be on that project team, and success would have set her career up for bigger things.

“Yes or no, Audrey.” It’s what Chris would’ve said to any of his senior leaders, male, female, single, or married with kids. He accorded her the same respect. “I need to know at the end of next week. Your current job holds if you decide you don’t want the project leader role.”

Sixteen weeks ago, she’d have been renewing her passport. She looked out Chris’ glass wall at the city. Her timing was lousy, but she couldn’t find a place inside her for disappointment.

“I can tell you now.”

He sat forward. “Good. I’m excited to have you aboard.”

“Oh, Chris, I’m sorry. I can’t do it.”

He frowned. “How can we help you manage it?”

She frowned back at him. “I don’t understand the question. It’s not something you can do. My circumstances make it impossible.”

“Yes, there is. Mia’s not in school yet, she can travel with you. We’ll provide a full-time nanny or accommodate yours with help at the other end in Shanghai.”

Audrey laughed. Sixteen weeks ago, this would’ve been a kind of miracle. “Why would you do that?”

“Because we need to run this company by appropriately resourcing the best talent there is. If the best talent happens to be a single mum then we need give her the right support to do her job.”

“I’m pregnant.” Blurting it out was becoming a habit.

“Oh.” He sat back, frowning again. “Congratulations.”

She beamed. It was the first time anyone had said that and it fanned the flame of joy inside her, despite the bittersweet lick of it.

“That simply means we need to think more laterally about how we do this.”