Once Burned (Morelli Family 3)

Elise considers my words, her pouty lips pursing. I’m just about to give up on talking, because those lips, but then she says, “Maybe you don’t. Maybe it’s time to move into a new phase of life, become… a blend of both. Or something entirely new. Whatever makes you happy.”

“That was never a part of who I was before,” I tell her.

“Well, maybe that’s the problem. Maybe it should’ve been. No point dwelling on it now, but just be glad you found your way out of that and appreciate what you have. Which you do,” she adds, reaching out and caressing the damaged side of my face.

I swore I wasn’t going to say it, but nothing she’s said to me has talked me out of my stupid plan, so I do.

“I love you, Elise.”

Smiling back at me, without even a beat of hesitation, she says, “I love you too, Adrian.”

I don’t believe that, not yet. Maybe it’s true and I’m overly skeptical, or maybe she’s just saying it because she’s Elise, and she’s kind, and she does care about me, and she plans to love me, someday…

I just needed to hear it now, in case I don’t get to hear it later.

“Don’t be sad,” she whispers. “That’s not supposed to make you sad.”

I try to smile, to reassure her, but it doesn’t really happen.

“I mean it,” she says, misunderstanding my response. She knows I’m always doubting her sincerity, blaming things on her ‘programming.’ Meeting my gaze, holding my face in place with both hands now so I can’t look away, she tells me, “You are the best man I’ve ever met in my whole life. I’d be crazy not to love you.”

I don’t know if it’s her words or the fierce look in her eyes, but something makes it through. It feels good and terrible at the same time, like a heavy weight is slowly crushing me, but it’s the weight of feelings I’ve never been able to access. I’m somehow yearning for something I already have, and even as my fingertips skim Elise’s torso, it feels like I’ll never be able to reach her.

I don’t have the capability to express what I’m feeling with words, so I do it the only way I know how.

And I don’t use a condom.

Chapter Twenty One

I’m getting damn tired of making the trek to Mateo’s wing of the house.

I feel so damn depressed the whole way there, too. Elise is asleep again, and all I want in the world is to lie there beside her, holding her in my arms, but there’s too much to take care of. Just in case I get myself killed, I need to know the lives I’m responsible for are going to be in good shape.

The door’s cracked open, not latched shut, and I can see a light’s still on inside. I sort of expected them to be asleep, for this visit to be just like my last, but Mateo never sleeps with the light on.

This time, I knock on Mateo’s door.

“Come on in,” Meg calls.

Easing open the door, I’m half-worried about what I’m going to see.

There’s Mateo on the bed with Mia and Meg… and a Scrabble board.

The first part doesn’t surprise me as much as the second part, and I scowl at the scene. Meg and Mia are both in pajamas, but Mateo hasn’t undressed for bed yet. His jacket’s off, shirt sleeves rolled up, but he looks right at home in the center, the girls on either side of him, like at dinner.

Meg lights up when she sees me. “Adrian! Join us.”

“What the hell are you guys doing?” I ask.

Mia glances over her shoulder at me. “Meg can’t sleep.”

“And when Meg can’t sleep, ain’t nobody sleeping,” Meg says, about herself.

“You might think some of us should get to, since some of us have to get up early in the morning for work,” Mia adds.

Meg concludes, “But you would be wrong.”

Mia nods, rearranging her Scrabble tiles.

Meg grabs the bag and starts counting out tiles for me. “Come on, Adrian. Have a seat.”

“I really don’t want to play Scrabble.”

“Please?” she asks, flashing me puppy dog eyes and a pout.

“That’s not going to work on me,” I tell her.

“Vince told me you’re the best. He told me you even beat Mateo. I can’t express to you how much I’ve wanted this moment to happen. I’ve literally fantasized about it.”

“Us with Mia and Adrian?” Mateo asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“Playing Scrabble,” she says, rolling her eyes.

Warily glancing between all three of them, I decide this isn’t my problem and shake my head. “I need Mateo for a minute.”

“Nope,” Meg says, shaking her head. “Sorry, bud. It’s after midnight; he’s all mine until morning.”

“It can’t wait until morning.”

“Is it about Castellanos?” Meg asks, this time seriously.

“No.”

“Is it life or death?”

“Well… no.”

Nodding once, she says, “Okay, then you can’t have him.” Now she smiles. “Of course, if you really need an audience tonight, you could play me for him.”