You Rock My World (The Blackwells of Crystal Lake 3)

then you took him. And your heart was in your eyes, Travis. I saw what you lost. And I saw what you want. A family. And I can’t give that to you.” She was now crying, but unable to stop the deluge of tears. Throat tight, she whispered hoarsely. “I can’t have any more children. Nathan was my miracle, and I’m all out.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

She shuddered. “After he was born, I found out I had endometriosis. The doctor said it was a one in a million shot that I’d conceived when I did.” She could tell he had no idea what she was talking about.

“I have one ovary left, and it’s not in good shape. If it was a miracle for me to get pregnant with Nathan, it would a hundred times more so if I tried again. It’s not going to happen.”

“I don’t care about that.”

She shook her head, eyes sad as she looked up at him. “But you do. I saw your face last night.” She exhaled shakily. “You do.”

He looked into her eyes for so long, Ruby’s knees started to wobble. She was cold and wet and miserable. She wanted nothing more than for Travis to grab her close and tell her everything was going to be okay.

“This is just another one of your excuses. A reason to cover up the real problem.”

“And what’s that?” she asked, breath held.

“Your fear of commitment. Your fear of letting people in. Letting yourself be loved.” He let go, and she nearly fell when her knees buckled. Recovering, she staggered a bit, eyes never leaving his.

“I meant what I said earlier. I’m not doing this anymore. I love you. I never stopped loving you even when I’d convinced myself I had. I want us to be together. But you have to be all in. You need to own your shit and deal with it. You need to stop using your brother and the past to hide behind. I can’t promise I won’t let you down again. I’m human. But I’ll do everything in my power not to. I know you think I won’t be there for you if you need me, but I will. I promise I will. But you have to meet me halfway. I can’t do this alone.”

Her breath caught at the words. She wanted to run to him. To hold him tight and never let go. But something stopped her. Something always stopped her.

Fear of commitment.

When the silence grew so big it, pressed down on them, he broke it. His voice was resigned. His eyes shuttered.

“I’m going back to the city. I’ve got to start working with my trainer. I’ve got to get ready for the upcoming season. I’ve got a game in two weeks. Labor Day Saturday. A charity game for our inner-city foundation. There will be a ticket for you at the door. If you don’t use it, then you won’t hear from me again.”

“Travis.” But she couldn’t speak. It was as if her throat was paralyzed.

“I’m being the good guy here. I’m letting you have this time to figure your shit out. If you do. If you decide that we have a future together, come to Detroit. If I don’t see you, then I’ll know.”

He walked past her, and she jumped when she heard his truck door slam shut. The engine roared to life, and she turned in time to see his taillights disappear down the street. Wet and shivering, Ruby walked back to her car and slid inside, turning up the heat and adjusting the blanket for Tasha to sit on.

The frayed brim of Travis’s ball cap caught her eye. Shit. A keening noise erupted from inside her as she grabbed the hat and crushed it to her chest. Later, when she finally calmed down and made it through the doors of her home, she lay down on the bed that still smelled of Travis, pulled up the sheets, cradled the cap in her arms, and eventually went to sleep.

Chapter 25

Ruby ran around her home like a chicken with its head cut off. She had less than an hour before the car service picked her up and so much to do. Her bedroom was a disaster, clothes strewn everywhere, two suitcases open near the door, but empty, and the shoes… She sighed when she saw the pile. When had she become a shoeaholic? Was that even a word? And did she really have time to worry about shoes?

No. No she did not.

She was nervous. Holy hell was she nervous. She just needed to find her list, and she’d be okay. She rooted around the top of her dresser and paused. Was that her cell phone? It had been pinging off and on all morning. Whatever. She had no time to chat. Excitement made her heart palpitate.

She was really doing this.

She checked her watch, looked at the pile, and got started. She tossed in enough outfits to last at least two weeks, as well as sexy nightwear, see-through bras, and underwear that was so skimpy, why bother? Which, of course made them mandatory.

Tasha watched from the corner of her bedroom. The dog wasn’t dumb. She knew something was up, and she knew that something involved her master leaving. The dog sighed as she turned in a circle and then flopped down in the middle of her bed.

“You’ll get spoiled, princess. Don’t worry. Uncle Ryder will be here soon.” Ruby bit her lip and held up a red dress with a plunging neckline. She’d never worn it, mostly because it was sexy as hell and she’d never had an occasion to. Until now. She tossed it into the suitcase and then headed to her bathroom to grab the toiletries she needed.

By the time she was packed and ready, she had less than ten minutes to spare. She placed her luggage near the front door and tapped her foot, eyes moving around the room. Ah. Her cell phone. She scooped it off the island and tossed it into her purse before deciding to take one last look in her closet.

She’d just pulled a sleek black dress off its hanger when the doorbell rang. Shoot. The driver was early. Ruby tossed the dress back inside the closet, where it landed in a pile on the floor next to all the other rejects. She’d deal with the mess later.

She was halfway to the front door when she remembered something and ran back to her bedroom, hopefully for the last time, and grabbed Travis’s old ball cap from the night table beside the bed.